Why don’t you take some time off from standing in line for tickets to stuff and posting about your STA199 crush on Fizz to check out this year’s selection of not-at-all-award-winning journalism?
In a shocking turn of events, No. 4-seed Duke’s Sunday night loss to No. 11-seed N.C. State was overturned by NCAA officials Monday morning, who cited “colossal ineptitude” on the part of the game’s referees as the reason for the decision.
A valiant campaign run by Vegan Supremacy, an activist club on campus, played a key role in the pop-up being chosen to replace “A Taste of New Orleans.”
Duke has added yet another high-profile recruit to its 2024 recruiting class, tall and skinny white boy from Mar-A-Lago, Fla., Baron Crump. The five-star center becomes the seventh commit in this year’s incoming group, creating a stacked roster in Durham alongside fellow superstar Salutetha Flag.
Fifth-year Ben Chwarmer, starting lead for the club curling team, was spotted by students ordering lunch in Western Union Wednesday afternoon, prompting diners to swarm him and ask for autographs.
The man who sued the Baldwin Scholars program over alleged “gender discrimination” has now sued the C-1 van whose driver only lets on the “girls, gays and theys” during the busiest transportation hours.
Duke administration recently announced its new initiative, “Homeless but not Hungry,” which will work to address local food insecurity by donating student food waste to nearby homeless shelters.
HRL has by far the hardest job on campus. For example, it takes a lot to deny students housing after studying abroad for a semester. Not everyone can do that!
The project will be spearheaded by Duke Student Affairs in an effort to boost morale amid reports of low attendance at QuadEx events, which are described by students as “super lame.”
Following student outcry, the Duke Global Education Office announced even more changes to the study abroad program, including sending all juniors studying abroad to Kuwait.
President Fincent Spice held a press conference Monday to announce the University’s purchase of several truckloads of Vietnam-era M4 anti-personnel mines to be installed “as soon as we can find someone who will do it.”
Rather than sit around and wait for the 10 days Democratic Gov. Ray “Placeholder” Copper has to make his veto, the new time machine will enable legislators to bypass the waiting period and overrule the veto before it even happens.
The announcement came in a Saturday Fizz post made by “Anonymous,” who was revealed to be President Fincent Spice.
Horn E. Randy and Stone R. Wilson, two Duke first-year students, made a shocking discovery Sunday night in the tunnels of East Campus.
Surprise! It's April Fools' Day, which can only mean one thing: The Chronicle's evil, satirical twin, The Chomicle. This is the best reporting we've done all year!
“QuadEx’s focus was fostering a culture of inclusivity. Instead, we must foster a culture of toxicity,” said QuadExes director Ivy Wannabee.
Use these Duke-themed BORG names to show your school spirit in a fresh, creative way!
As the hours turn into days, concern surrounding Gnutt’s disappearance grows. So does the tension between the two factions on campus: those who could die from a peanut and those who believe natural selection should take its course.
On April 1, the fraternity will host “DERATIFIED,” a pre-Nineteenth Amendment themed party. The event is scheduled to celebrate the end of March, which is nationally observed as Women’s History Month.
The line monitors are being investigated due to their “middle-of-the-night blaring sirens, stupid blue jackets and overall narc vibes,” United States U.N. representative B. Allbuster told The Chomicle.
