‘F*ck it, just send every junior to Kuwait’: Duke GEO discusses even more changes to study abroad program

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Following student outcry, the Duke Global Education Office announced even more changes to the study abroad program, including sending all juniors studying abroad to Kuwait.

“Earlier this year, when we capped attendance at 50 students per program, everyone was yelling in our ears. Doing our jobs got so annoying,” the office explained. “So we just thought, ‘F*ck you guys. F*ck it, just send every junior to Kuwait.’ And by sending every single junior, everyone will get to participate in this super enriching experience.”

When asked why the office chose Kuwait, the spokesman just shrugged and replied, “Why not?” 

They also clarified that no accommodations or housing will be provided and that every junior must fend for themself. “Like an Operation Desert Storm 2.0, which went really well the first time,” the Global Education Office said.

Students seem to have mixed feelings about this change.

“Personally, I’m pretty stoked about this development,” said junior finance major Glob Alwarming, who is also interning for Goldman-Sachs this summer. “I’m really passionate about fracking, so this is just great hands-on experience.” 

Sophomore Ine Fluencer, who planned to study abroad in Copenhagen next semester, disagrees. 

“This is going to make my Instagram a lot less aesthetic,” she said. “My dad always used to say, ‘If you’re not here to win, get the hell out of Kuwait.’ I don’t really consider myself a winner in this scenario.”

Descendants of Saddam Hussein have also announced plans to send large amounts of clueless 20-year-olds to Kuwait this fall.

Editor's Note: Happy April Fools' Day! In case you couldn't tell, this was a story for our satirical edition, The Chomicle. Check out more Chomicle stories here, guaranteed to make you laugh, or at least cry. 


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