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The best of the best, the most well-connected of the well-connected and the richest of the richest are already locks for the Duke Class of 2024. But we here at Waitlist Bubble Watch don't care about them.
Surprise! It's April Fools' Day, which can only mean one thing: The Chronicle's evil, satirical twin, The Chomicle.
“We are thrilled to have achieved our revenue goal once again, fulfilling our mission of stripping broke college students of every last penny and shred of dignity."
After two hour-long meetings, the task force concluded that there were too many snot-nosed goobers with their heads stuffed in books around campus.
"We'd gotten comfortable in Fiji, but holy shit, I just wanted to see how people survived here,” "Survivor" host Jeff Probe told The Chomicle after seeing 300 Yearby.
The Duke Sententious Government Senate passed a resolution condemning the coronavirus at its weekly Zoom meeting.
North Carolina finally has a virtual win, which is the best they can hope for from this season’s team.
“Oh yeah, the executive committee meetings are just beer pong,” Trustee Al Coholic said. “Wait, you guys hadn’t figured that out by now?”
To drive up lost sales after this disastrous Spring semester, Duke’s iconic Italian restaurant will be offering 50% off to anyone who orders in an Italian accent.
The Blue Devils could not contain the Hurricane backcourt of Angel Rodriguez and Sheldon McClellan, who combined for 34 points and 14 assists as Miami made its last eight shots. With the loss, Duke is likely to fall out of the AP top 25 next week for the first time since 2007.
Duke is looking for revenge after turnovers cost the Blue Devils in a 51-50 loss to South Carolina in Durham last season as Azurá Stevens takes on her Team USA U19 head coach Dawn Staley.
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