Monday Monday

Articles

OPINION

Chronicle accidentally runs sappy senior columns early, apologizes for making people appreciate Duke in the moment

By Monday Monday | September 20, 2021

“MAY CAUSE UNWANTED SOBER REFLECTION”

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OPINION

Duke, COVID agree to 1 year, 3-million-dollar extension

By Monday Monday | September 6, 2021

Despite rumors that he would be out of shape and unable to keep up with the modern masked-and-vaxxed playing style of the league, COVID proved that he is still the best in the game after racking up 304 points in one week, the highest total in University history. 

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OPINION  |  STUDENT VOICES COLUMNS

I’m CJ Cruz. I’m Monday Monday

By Monday Monday and CJ Cruz | April 19, 2021

This has been my favorite thing that I have done at Duke. I say without an ounce of exaggeration that it has been the honor of my college career to serve as your plague jester. 

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OPINION  |  STUDENT VOICES COLUMNS

Duke basketball season ends after they all just kind of stop feeling like playing

By Monday Monday | March 15, 2021

“Playing basketball is, like, really hard,” said player Michael Savarino. “It’s like...sheesh! Y’know?”

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OPINION  |  STUDENT VOICES COLUMNS

Monday Monday’s rejected Me Too Monologue

By Monday Monday | March 1, 2021

The following slam-poetry monologue, entitled “Normalize Camera-Off”, was submitted by Monday Monday to be performed in the Me Too Monologues showcase. It was rejected.

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OPINION  |  STUDENT VOICES COLUMNS

Wungus hosted the superspreader event

By Monday Monday | February 22, 2021

Over the past two years, the ambiguously fictional/satirical social group Wungus has been at the center of a vast web of conspiracies threatening to bring the Duke community to its knees. 

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OPINION  |  STUDENT VOICES COLUMNS

First-year survey: Existential dread edition

By Monday Monday | February 15, 2021

This story is not part of a series about the Class of 2024 based on a survey conducted by The Chronicle.

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OPINION  |  STUDENT VOICES COLUMNS

Forbidden love with a contact tracer

By Monday Monday | January 25, 2021

She smiles. I mean, she’s wearing a mask and also a face shield over the mask and also gloves, but I assume she smiles. 

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OPINION  |  STUDENT VOICES COLUMNS

Monday Monday unmasked

By Monday Monday | November 16, 2020

It’s been an honor to serve as your plague jester. But I’m tired. I’m ready to hang up the proverbial mascot costume. It stinks in here. And I think the last guy vomited through the eye holes. 

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OPINION  |  STUDENT VOICES COLUMNS

Vote

By Monday Monday | November 2, 2020

Vote.

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