NEWS
STONE COLD's final masked hurrah
By Stone Cold | December 6, 1999This is my last column before my name is unveiled to the rude gaze of public scrutiny.
This is my last column before my name is unveiled to the rude gaze of public scrutiny.
Thanksgiving dinner has been assigned to its miscellaneous Tupperware containers in the refrigerator, and that means only one thing: The holiday season is officially upon us-and may whatever deity...
Can you believe we're already upon Thanksgiving Break? Usually bad Monday, Mondays take this time to make sarcastic list of all the things they "give thanks for" like, "I'm thankful for our...
As we delve deeper into the school year, STONE COLD needs to take a moment to ponder the changing seasons. The leaves have turned color and fallen to the ground. Dirty sorority rush has begun.
Although I usually use my column to recount fictional events, this week I've decided to share with you a story that is actually true.
What do socially rejected college students do with their free time? They join pointless activism groups! Activism is hip. Protesting is in. Fight the system! Kill whitey!.
Whew, another Parents' Weekend in the books. STONE COLD would like to thank his parents-Mr. and Mrs. COLD-for making the trip down and spending time with their beloved child.
How come so many people at the University spend their Fall Break whitewater rafting in the Rockies or hang gliding at Kitty Hawk? When people ask me what I did over Fall Break, I spin a tale of how...
Christoph Guttentag, the guy we all fooled into letting us in, gave me a call the other day. I know that in the directory my name is unlisted, however with a good guess he reached me at 613-3:16.
What a beautiful morning. Nothing can wake a person up like the sound of 50 migrant laborers pounding poles into the ground at the competitive wage of 50 cents a day.