Playing your cards right
(02/08/10 10:00am)
“If you’re good at something, never do it for free.”
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“If you’re good at something, never do it for free.”
“Don’t sweat the small stuff. And it’s all small stuff.”
A butler once said, “Some men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.” He was right. I take pride in being one of those bastards.
The epic battle you’ve all been waiting for.
Don’t worry, you get to find out who I am next week, you lucky skunks! Last year Brett Aresco took this space in his penultimate column to announce he was a Baldwin Scholar to throw us off the trail. Would it confuse you if I dropped the hint that I’m a dude?
There once was a structure, in a land before time, called the Bryan Center walkway. It was a simple bridge, constructed to convey weary wanderers from the main quadrangle to the Center of Bryan.
I’m a glutton for pain.
Much ado about elections this week.
You know that sound people make when they’re holding in a laugh, but they also make it when they’re mocking something? The one where it’s this nasal-guttural sound that’s technically the beginning of a chuckle but sounds dangerously close to a snorting sound.
Stop being a basketball fan. Stop it. Right now.
What did we learn from watching the news this week, children?
Judging from the influx of letters to the editor about my column, every single one of you missed me very much over Fall Break. I can’t blame you, it was a big week.
There was a lot of division in the name of unity this weekend.
Knock Knock.
What ever happened to free T-shirts? Does anyone think this whole social activism thing has gone too far when that one staple of the standard pre-hobo track student has all but vanished?
As you can imagine, coming to my first Duke Tailgate was a bit jarring for me. The official dress code was not distributed to the French and Francophone Studies department, thereby causing me to ruin the pair of Diesel jeans for which I scrimped and saved for more than a month.
Health care seems to be the hot-button issue du jour, and, if you can get past the dispute over who is killing whose grandmother, you'll see that Duke is involved in the broader debate.
All rise for the Honorable Chairman.
All rise for the Honorable Chairman.
Sit down, everybody. Quickly: this week we have a grave situation that needs my immediate attention.