What ever happened to free T-shirts? Does anyone think this whole social activism thing has gone too far when that one staple of the standard pre-hobo track student has all but vanished?
Last week was Purple Social Activism Week, marked with an overflow of actually stylish T-shirts that happened to cost approximately a bajillion pounds sterling (that’s about $1.67 bajillion). I’m all for covering my chest with Mother Teresa, and trust me, I’ve been there before, but this time I found the cost to be too high.
It’s been a long time since I read “Atlas Shrugged,” so that several-month period where I was ideologically opposed to altruism in all forms has since passed, and I’m not saying that I’m just point-blank against social activism. I just think, when it comes down to brass tacks, the pricing schema of their activism hampers their competitive advantage over other activist groups.
What? Competition among activist groups, Charlotte? But we’re all just trying to make the world better one impoverished African or South Asian or South American or Durhamian or Dukian at a time, right?
Wrong.
Our decisions over how to apportion our parents’ hard-earned FLEX points are constantly in flux, due to the ever-changing market of charitable organizations on campus.
According to the DukeGroups database, there are 55 registered service organizations. That’s a lot of information through which to wade when making crucial donation decisions. And while Purple Week may have grabbed your attention for a while, it’s hard to be certain that donning the standardized test answer sheet with the bubbles filled in all funny-like is bringing the most good to the most people.
Prepare to have some knowledge dropped on you, in the form of a tacky “so you want to…” list.
SO YOU WANT TO… SAVE THE KIDS IN DURHAM?
You have a number of options here. Through Entrepreneurial Latina Leaders in Action (ELLA), your support goes to forming support networks for adolescent girls. Through Future Is Now (FIN), your money goes to forming support networks for young girls. Through The Girls Club (TGC), your money goes to forming support networks for adolescent girls. But after my research, if helping Durham kids is your game, the Duke-Durham Tennis Program (DDTP) is your best bet. They play tennis with kids in Durham.
SO YOU WANT TO… SUSTAINABLE… UH… COMMUNITY… OUTREACH?
According to their description on DukeGroups, Circle K International “aims to better both local and international communities by focusing on youth outreach, leadership and community collaboration to provide a positive and sustainable impact.” Not to be out-vagued, Discover Worlds is all about “making a difference by raising awareness and taking action. Discover Worlds is an entirely student-run non-profit organization which encourages students to make high impact changes at both a local and international level.” But I’d go with Nourish International, which solves world hunger by… feeding people who aren’t hungry. You can support them by buying an all-you-can-eat meal, but not eating all you can, lest they operate at a loss.
SO YOU WANT TO… ADOPT A GRANDPARENT?
I’d go with Adopt A Grandparent.
SO YOU WANT TO… LOOK CULTURALLY SENSITIVE AT YOUR GOLDMAN INTERVIEW?
Hands down, the Duke Microfinance Leadership Initiative. It has ‘finance’ and ‘leadership’ in the title.
SO YOU WANT TO… SUPPORT CULTURE ON CAMPUS?
Make sure you attend a fundraising activity for the Duke Association for Greater Gaming Education and Recreation (DAGGER). They play video games in ways that require the coordinated and codified organizational structures of a student group—because you can’t set up a LAN party without being chartered by Duke Student Government. Consider the Bass Fishing Team a close second, neck and neck with the Bridge Club (you can bring your adopted grandparent to that one).
Hopefully this can serve as a pretty handy reference guide when you’re forced to address the competitive overlap between service groups. If you didn’t find this helpful, you can attend the first info session for the Duke Students Who Disdain Other Duke Students Who Create Too Many Groups, where we’ll discuss community outreach and global/local strategies for positive, sustainable impact and translating field successes into envelope-pushing paradigms for resume padding.
Roses are red / violets are blue / human rights, environmentalism, race relations, cancer awareness and educational inequalities are purple / and Charlotte Simmons is confused.
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