Sorority Bid Nights: One Man's Wild Ride

Recess sent photo editor and resident horn dog Yoav Lurie to investigate the phenomenon of sorority bid nights. Below is the report he drunkenly sent in moments before we went to press:

Here is the plan: my three best friends -- Cheap, Lite and Domestic - and I are going to set out to some local bar where we hope to find a good number of sorority girls who are much too cool to speak to us. For obvious reasons, we have been asked to keep the names of the alleged sisterhoods and their membership in strict confidence, so please don't even attempt to connect the dots!

Monday:

The night began with some friends on campus exploring the insides of domestic beer cans when the evil-doer Everclear came crashing into our party. Not only did he drag my tanked butt out, but he wiped clean the memory of anything I might have done.

Trying to trace back the night, I reviewed the dialed calls on my cell phone. Sure, there are the obvious ones to my best friend and my mom. But I am still trying to figure out what I could have talked to my ex-girlfriend about for six minutes at 3 a.m. I just hope it didn't involve canned ham and one night last summer.

Tuesday:

My friends drag me out again, because they didn't understand what I meant when I said, "I'm going to puke and I haven't even started drinking yet!" The club is teeming with temptation, so I seek refuge in an odd clearing near the middle of the room. But before I know it, I am being flung through the air by the raging mechanical bull and landing on the bar that is now filled with dancing girls.

One of the Recess editors explained her "Bid Night Drinking Game" to me as I recovered from my fall at the edge of the dance floor. "Every time you see someone dancing in the cage, dancing on the bar, hooking up on the dance floor or posing for the camera lady, you drink. If you know the person doing this, you drink twice." She went on to specify that at Shooter's: "Smoke a cigarette while sitting on the upper-level and ash on the people below you. If they look up: you drink. If you hit them and they don't look up: your partner drinks." Needless to say, the rest of the night was a blur.

Wednesday: (Note: Yoav called this section in)

"It's 2 a.m. right now, and I am stumbling back to East to catch a Safe Ride back to West. Dude, let me tell you that I am not 'That Guy!' Dude, Papa John's. Oh s--t! Dude, the cops are following me. I gotta go! [aside] What did I do with my underwear!?"

Thursday:

See me riding the Bull again tonight - if I'm still alive and able to find my pants.

-Yoav Lurie

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