With all the hoopla of the inauguration over, the hope in our country has reached an all-time high. Soon enough, the government will screw something else up (as it was created to do) and that hope will come crashing down. President Barack Obama has chosen his sidekicks to help him destroy the evils left by the previous administration: the war in Iraq, economic crisis, a stumbling health care system and, of course, Republicans against hope. It would take quite a team to solve the complex problems his administration faces, and I think he could have chosen better. These are my picks for a Cabinet to truly change America:
Secretary of State. His pick: Hillary Clinton. My pick: Joseph Nye Jr. Nye penned his theory of soft power in the aptly titled book, "Soft Power," and the theory seems to coincide with Obama's rhetoric on foreign policy. Plus Hillary and Obama disagree on one issue: foreign policy. And she flip-flopped on the Iraq war, and nobody likes a flip-flopper.
Secretary of Defense. His pick: Robert Gates. My pick: Shane Battier. Do I even need to explain this one? He's one of the best defensive players to come through Duke, so I'm sure he could defend the country.
Attorney General. His pick: Eric Holder. My pick: Mike Nifong. Because Duke hasn't gotten enough press lately. Just kidding.
Treasury Secretary. His pick: Timothy Geithner. My pick: God. The President of the New York Federal Reserve just isn't enough; we need a miracle to get out of this financial crisis soon. Solving the credit crunch, ending lack of liquidity and boosting consumer confidence is child's play for an entity that created heaven and earth.
Energy Secretary. His pick: Steven Chu. My pick: Richard Simmons. Who has more energy than Richard? But if we're talking alternative energy we might want T. Boone Pickens. His name is T. Boone; he must be awesome. And he's an advocate for energy reform or something.
Secretary of Education: His pick: Arne Duncan. My pick: J.K. Rowling. She would definitely improve literacy rates by making kids learn enough to read her books and make another billion. Which is a good thing, I think. Although my pick for treasury secretary, God, might get mad at her about all the magic.
Secretary of Commerce. Because his pick, Bill Richardson (who is a baller), withdrew, maybe my opinion will hold weight here. My pick: Ted Stevens. The former chair of the commerce committee in the Senate brings attributes no other Cabinet member I recommend has: experience, Republicanness and a federal corruption conviction. Oh wait, that last attribute isn't a good thing. And isn't he the one who thought the Internet was a series of tubes? Eek-I might need to get back to you on that one.
Those are all the interesting-ish secretary positions, now here are my choices for other key positions.
Chief of Staff. His pick: Rahm Emanuel. My pick: Leo McGarry from Season 4 of "The West Wing." That's the year he won the Emmy for Best Supporting Actor. I feel like someone from the West Wing needed to be in my Cabinet. I wonder which would be more easily appointed, God or a fictional TV character.
White House Press Secretary. His pick: Robert Gibbs. My pick: Anderson Cooper. All the female reporters would melt for his dashingly good looks so they'll accept answers that are less-than-transparent. And an opaque executive branch is exactly what we need.
Surgeon General. His pick: Dr. Sanjay Gupta? (Not official yet). My Pick: Finally, we agree on one. Gupta would bring a face and personality to the office of the surgeon general so we can popularize the position in combating evils like childhood obesity, the threat of the avian flu or even underage drinking (though I hope not the latter).
United States Trade Representative. His pick: Ron Kirk. My pick: Thomas L. Friedman. Friedman just seems to have the answers to all the world's problems. After he serves, he can write another book-and win another Pulitzer!
United Nations Ambassador. His pick: Susan Rice. My pick: George Clooney. George shows he cares. Clooney pleaded to the U.N. to act in Darfur. And he's a good actor, which is definitely a prerequisite to being an ambassador if I've ever heard one. Besides, Susan Rice has the same last name as Condi, who scares the whole world.
Obama has a long road ahead of him. Fixing this country in its current situation is quite a task. Choosing the best is imperative. I just hope his Cabinet has what it takes.
Drew Everson is a Trinity sophomore. His column runs every other Friday.
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