The last few days have been a truly exciting time to be on Duke's campus. This past weekend, in case you were unaware, was Homecoming weekend, which, as far as I've learned, means pretty much nothing to students on campus. It also happened to be Oktoberfest, the German holiday that couldn't have been promoted more heavily by the University despite the fact that it literally reeks of underage drinking.
I have so many funny stories from this weekend, I wouldn't even know where to start. partially because I can't exactly remember the beginnings of most of them. One story, however, is worth mentioning. While watching the dodgeball tournament sponsored by everybody's favorite core-four sorority, AOPi, I noticed myself standing next to none other than the Dick Brodhead.
My team was next to play, and one of my friends casually stumbled over to me and declared, "Oh man, I'm so f@#$ed up, I don't think I can play." He then dry heaved a couple of times and started making what appeared to be some kind of gargling noise.
I looked up to find Old Dick just staring in disbelief. or perhaps disgust. It's sometimes difficult to interpret that man, I feel. Anyway, I just couldn't help but wonder what was going through his head. How could he possibly leave that situation without an immense loss of Duke pride? Heck, even I was a little embarrassed, and I wasn't exactly sober in my own right.
Anyway, given the opportunity, I felt I should say something to him, or at least ask him a question. I started racking my brain trying to recall anything I'd read in The Chronicle or some kind of news I could bring up, but the only thing I could remember was that safe sex study of colleges that just came out. not exactly the topic I wanted to bring up with Dick.
If you are unaware, there was a survey recently released that said Duke was rated No. 8 in terms of safe sex or something like that. Is this something we should be proud of? I mean, it's not like I'm rooting for myself to go out Thursday night and bring home a burner, but seriously, nothing spices up the night like a fun game of pull and prey.
What does it say about us if we're one of the best schools at having safe sex? That doesn't sound all that sweet. Isn't battling STDs part of the college experience? How am I ever supposed to handle Wall Street if I never learned how to handle the clap?
In hind site, I should've asked Dick about tailgate the next day, see if I could get a little preview of the ALE situation. I guess I was still a bit skeptical of the whole thing.
As it turned out, tailgate was awesome. The only thing that appeared to be different was the location. There was also a giant separation of tailgate crowds, which really pissed me off. I spent time at both venues, and they were equally fun. If the two had been combined, it would've seemed as if nothing had changed.
I also noticed a severe lacking in port-a-potties. I didn't mind this so much; however, the five-year-old girl who turned out to be hiding behind a tree I was peeing on. she might be haunted for a while.
The third thing I noticed before blacking out in the back of a pickup-truck-turned-ice-box was all the fun UVa supporters. There was a bunch of UVa dads with young children just chilling in the middle of tailgate, drinking in a crowd of teenagers. Surprisingly, I didn't see the Iron Dukes anywhere near the back of the Blue Zone.
A lot of the ACC football fans who pack our own stadium in all colors not dark blue are down to get sloppy. I say we embrace them, embrace our pathetic team, embrace our situation and we make tailgate as big as we can.
To do this, we just completely cheer for the opposing team every week. If N.C. State comes to play, we all wear red. If Wake comes, we wear gold and black. If UNC comes. well, I don't know if I could ever get myself to root for UNC. The point is, we cheer for whatever opposition comes to play as if they were our own.
It's a win-win, really. On one hand, we get to watch our favorite team dominate week in and week out. On the other, tailgate becomes the madness it so deserves to be, as crowds triple in size once the opposing fans begin flocking to this extra home game. Plus, how can tailgate be regulated if half the people aren't even affiliated with Duke?
And to anyone who tells me that I shouldn't give up on my own team, you can S my D. I'm at Duke for four years, and all I wanna do is have a little fun before I graduate, and if that means I need to completely sell out my own University and in the process lose all credibility as a true Duke fan, then so be it. I'm just trying to get crunk.
The Morning Wood stayed firm throughout the entire weekend. Tom Segal is still throwing up in the sink.
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