Picture this: cell phones change lives

I am about as good at names as I am with electrical engineering. Let me explain that my science credits include Physics of Forensics and AIDS.  

Freshman year I had a line prepared for when people (whom I had met a dozen times but whose names might as well have been multivariable formulas) gave me their numbers. I would cock my head to the side and--looking my blondest--say, "I have no idea how to use my phone. Could you program your name in?" Needless to say, everyone thought I was really sharp.

 

Sadly, even feigning that I should have attended UNC did not alleviate the problem because, inevitably, the person would call, the name "Aaron" would pop up and I would have a five-minute conversation pretending I had even the faintest idea to whom I was speaking.

 

Here is my point: today's freshmen are very, very lucky. They have access to picture phones going into the time of their lives when they meet more people than will attend the Ludacris concert. I have actually put quite a bit of time into considering exactly how lucky the Class of 2007 is, not to mention all the cool things I can do with my new phone.

The first advantage is face recognition. As I was saying, these camera phones are better than a face book (because who really looks like his picture, much less wears his prom clothes around?). So you are trading numbers, but you do not remember the lucky guy's name? Snap a picture. Every time he calls, that photo will pop up along with whatever you recorded for his name ("Saturday night"). If you happen to match a name to the face, your phone becomes regular flash cards for Who to Know at Duke--your most important class.

 

Secondly, it's smaller than a camera. With everything else to carry, a digital camera can sometimes be the straw that breaks the Prada zipper. Picture phones allow you to take memorable pictures without having to worry about breaking or misplacing your Minolta.

Thirdly, blackmail. The priceless picture of the dongered frat boy, the two guys questionably passed out on top of one another and the drunk girl making out with the dog make this a party must. Instead of just calling around to gossip about it, provide a visual. A picture is worth a thousand words--think of the minutes saved! And during sorority rush week, do not doubt that these will be a popular tool for recording rush infractions.

 

And finally, picture phones give you the all important second opinion. Worried that she just looks cute because, well, everyone looks kind of cute after that much beer? Take a picture and send it to someone sans beer goggles for a veto or ratification. Think of the revolution.

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