Let's talk about midterms

Autumn is in the air and that means cliché references to pumpkin spice lattes, cowl neck sweaters and days that end early. However, as much as I adore the smell of smoke from fireplaces, there is one thing I do not want to wade into the conversations that come with fall. Tension is in the air, Perkins is inhabited once again and it’s time for midterms.

Every year around this time—or in about two weeks’ time—the first round of midterms is distributed to the unlucky bunch whose professors decided extended office hours and late night study sessions in the Link were things you had to go through three times in one semester. When you have that many midterms we should just call them what they are—tests. People will complain about where all the time has gone and it is officially the time that you realize that those dinner plans you made week 1 are never going to come to fruition. Everyone will just be too busy to do anything and life will be an empty void that only Computer Science majors can program us to manage.

I am not going to tell you not to fall apart when this happens. I won’t say to fight it or find value in the small things…because ultimately it doesn’t matter. If there is one thing I am surer of than the collective tension carried by Duke students come midterm season, it is the overwhelming need of other Duke students to counter this tension.

I have come to learn in my long 19 years that there is something, dare I say, sexy in suffering. Don’t get me wrong, actual grief and anguish is not something to be romanticized, but when it comes to the culture here, everyone wants to be “most popular." Everyone wants to be a little bit busy, but mostly everyone wants to talk about it.

I’ve read the articles and the blogs from every media source, and they all say the same thing—"Look up, smile, spend time with your friends, take advantage of this place." And I try, I really do, but who wants to talk to the girl who still has time for friends, good grades and a positive attitude? Seriously, though, who is this girl?

Life is stressful and Duke is hard so consider yourself a real champ if you can see past all that. I hope you spread the good word to the rest of the people who don’t feel the same way. You are not broken if you feel like you can’t do it all. There is no reason to apologize for being human. Looking on the bright side is great, but I’ve always opted for the more honest option. See the good for the bad and the bad for the good. Mostly though, don’t try so hard to make things alright when they’re not.

This summer I had a talk with the members of my DukeEngage cohort. All of us being Duke students, the conversation soon progressed to the idea of “effortless perfection” and how people always say they are fine when really, they’re not. When it was my turn to talk all I could say was that people don’t like it when you’re honest. They want the assurance that if you’re doing better than them, you will keep it to yourself and that if you are doing worse than them, you won’t bother to elaborate on your problems.

The problem with asking people to step back from the chaos that comes with tests and clubs and applications is that it’s not real life. Real life is complaining and procrastinating and looking at memes on tumblr while you pretend to study. Real life can’t always be finding time for friends or to explore Durham or to have heart-to-hearts. Sometimes it’s running to the C2 as it drives past you. I don’t know about you, but that is pretty heartbreaking.