Hotel K-Ville

Big Al’s Harem. Predator 3.0. Shooters III. Welcome to Hotel K-Ville. Being a contented guest there, I’d like to tell you why Hotel K-Ville, with its amusingly named residences, is the best place to spend the post-holiday season.

Let’s be honest, the thing we all missed most during winter break was Wednesday Night Shooters or, to the enlightened, WNS. That’s why everyone on a Wednesday or Saturday night shift is inordinately grateful for the tent named Shooters III. I would not be surprised to hear that at least one frat’s token DJ is a member of that tent. My favorite part about the evening of the Duke vs. Ohio State shindig was the division of K-Ville into three. As one moved southeast across K-Ville, one could enjoy the music selections of the line monitors, frat number one or frat number two. K-Ville is Shooters with a twist—the DJs at K-Ville know better than to play the “Wobble” and “We Are Never Getting Back Together” back-to-back, on repeat. Oh wait. …

Then there’s K-Ville’s prime location in the South. Is the cold even a thing? The snow sure isn’t. So for the few months when temperatures actually do dip below 30 degrees and hail deigns to fall, we jump at the novelty and enjoy nature to its fullest. We do this under unreliable tarp structures that weren’t built by Prattstars because they were in Orgo or whatever it is that they do behind the Perk. When I say, “Enjoy nature to its fullest,” I am dead serious. When your iPhone or MacBook loses its grip on battery life, which will certainly happen, you will scrounge for a grand total of six outlets along the length of the field. But don’t bother, bandwidth is in short supply anyway. If even the P-Wilders are suffering, you know you’re in for it.

On my first day in K-Ville, I dressed in jeans, a sweater, a trench coat and boots. I immediately knew that wasn’t kosher. It wasn’t that it was too cold out. The thing is, members of the little community have a uniform that, though not strictly enforced, is still an expectation. You do not go to K-Ville unless you are outfitted in a hoodie, preferably with Duke’s insignia, and sweatpants, always with Duke’s insignia (no exceptions) and Uggs. This is mandatory, people.

And guys, the idea of community is very, very important. You will be intimately spooning with people. These are also the same people you’d absolutely never awaken for a tent check if they weren’t in your own tent. The cold, it does things to you. You will give the neighbors an awkward smile every time you pass, as is neighborly protocol, but, once they leave, you’ll “borrow” their lawn chairs and sleeping bags and sleeping pads, because when you live in the wilderness, it’s all about the survival of the fittest. I cannot begin to stress how crucial it is that though you may leave camping equipment unattended, you must never let a six-pack of Busch Light out of your sight. Once, I found a bottle of wine mysteriously lying in a corner of our tent. To the group sharing our tent with us, you might want to watch where you put your stuff.

K-Ville is really an abode to recover from the excesses of the holidays. Every December is spent planning the return to the mosh pit of strangely named and poorly equipped huts that make up K-Ville. We go back there to celebrate North Carolina’s bracing clime, to wear the sweats we usually so carefully reserve for Sunday brunch, and to get to know the rest of the Cameron Crazies (run-of-the-mill Duke students at any other time of year). It’s almost a post-holiday holiday, because who can do anything but nap in that cold? No homework for four weeks!

Disclaimer: The author is attempting to discourage reservations at Hotel K-Ville for the winter of 2014 solely for personal gain. The front row of Cameron Indoor Stadium is a thing. But actually.

Pi Praveen is a Trinity freshman. Her column runs every other Friday.