Every week is o-week

“Why are you smiling?” asked the tall, young, Senegalese man.

“Why not?” I responded as I casually joined his stride and we made our way across campus. “I’m happy to be in France. Just got here from America.”

We talked for a few more minutes and next thing I knew, we had agreed to meet up soon so I could help him navigate some English websites. Younous wants to go to college in Baltimore and was having some trouble understanding the application process. I offered to help him out.

After he left, I hopelessly tried to hold back the big grin that had overtaken my face. I had just made a new friend in 2 minutes and was walking across a new and exciting campus to get to what was now precious Wi-Fi—the newness of Paris had put me in a great mood.

The day before I had joined a couple of fellow Dukies at our Parisian university for day one of our international student orientation program. Walking into the room where my orientation group was sitting brought on immediate flashbacks of freshman year orientation week. I was reminded of those awkward moments where two people find themselves next to one another, each trying to decide whether or not they have the guts to start a conversation. Luckily, I then had the repeated pleasure of reliving the smiles of relief and excitement that follow when someone finally does. Just about everybody wants to meet you at these “freshman” orientation weeks. Everyone is hoping to make friends.

I’m only four days into my study abroad experience so far. I recognize that my excitement and eagerness is natural for the beginning of such an awesome adventure. The prospect of living in a new city, studying at a new school, speaking a new language and meeting new people from all over the world has definitely inspired me to drop my guard a bit. But going through this “freshman” orientation for a second time has made me a bit nostalgic for the beginning of my freshman year. It was a time when we were always willing to introduce ourselves to the stranger sitting next to us in class, when we didn’t think it was weird to join someone random at the Marketplace who was eating alone.

I know it’s not easy to be super outgoing. There are social norms in place that we all abide by, wherever we might be. Not to draw on stereotypes too much, but I don’t think it’s much of a coincidence that my 2-minute friend came from Senegal. Unfortunately, the Parisians themselves do not have the best reputation for welcoming visitors. Ultimately though, I think we’re mistaken when we simply take those traits for granted, as we often do. Things don’t have to be this way. Just because Parisians might often give the impression that they’re not interested in making friends, it’s up to us to set the tone of our interactions with people. I know (or at least I hope) that behind that classic Parisian frown is someone who is yearning to smile.

I know most of you reading this aren’t in Paris (sorry!) but we’re definitely guilty of this on campus, too. O-week just ended, and I’m sure many of you are feeling excited to hang out with all of the new friends that you just made. It’s an exciting time. Before we know it though, we will find ourselves walking across campus putting on our serious face or pretending to send a text message when we feel too uncomfortable to acknowledge the people around us because we don’t already know them.