Real multiculturalism

Larry knows I stand by him through everything he does, including, of course, the house model. I mean, I support Larry Moneta like the dictionary supports the possibility that “water buffalo” is a racial slur. But just like with Football Gameday, I worry that the house model is going to backfire on an administration that is trying to keep everyone’s best interests at heart. Based on what I’ve seen on my Saturday morning carbon-emission-free bike ride between my dorm and the NGO I intern for, truly multicultural Duke students are left out of Gameday. In the same way, I worry that the house model will destroy Duke’s already negligible multicultural spirit.

Obviously the house model kicks frats off campus, and that’s awesome. So how can it be bad? Because cultural groups have applied for their own housing sections within the new house model. This not only takes space away from deserving non-sorority womyn on West Campus but also allows Duke to segregate itself even more than it already does. How can you have a multicultural community without the multi?

I don’t want to offend anyone, so let me assure all of my multicultural brothers and sisters that I, too, come from a variegated background. It’s true that my parents were not ethnically diverse, but I had a Dominican nanny for my entire childhood. She exposed me to all the facets of the Latino culture. As a matter of fact, my first word was the Spanish word for “vacuum cleaner.” I don’t remember it anymore, but it was the experience that was important.

Growing up with Rosa gave me a valuable perspective on the “other” in society, and when our country club welcomed its first Mexican family, I was right there helping at the celebratory taco dinner we made just for them. We made sure to put in tortillas and chili peppers because I know that’s what Mexicans like. The Vasqueses didn’t seem very impressed by our efforts—they said something about being Spanish or whatever—but I assume it’s because we didn’t put in as much Latin flavor as they do when they cook. Their daughter, Bianca, was also weirdly insulted when I asked her if the dress she wore to the coming-out party was the same as the one I knew she must have worn to her quinceañera. I don’t know why; I was just being culturally respectful.

But the point is that I know what I’m talking about when it comes to multiculturalism. And don’t forget I’ve been to Africa more than twice. As a matter of fact, I always check the “other” box when a survey asks my racial identity, because even though I’m ethnically “Caucasian,” Rosa’s influence in my life was so strong that I consider myself at least 35 percent Dominican. My experience in Africa made me feel African, too. You don’t get an African name like mine without having a deep understanding of the issues real African people face.

So, cultural groups, I understand you. I’m just like you, and I need you to please listen to me. Don’t shut yourselves into your own little sections. That would make you no better than sorority girls or, even worse, frat guys. They can keep their nasty, beer-soaked sections. The benefit of YOUR diversity needs to be shared with all the students at Duke, and we can’t expect many of the judgemental, bigoted students at this school to seek you out.

Perhaps the solution to this problem is to go in the opposite direction from these proposed monocultural living sections. I think the administration should mandate that every person live with a person of another ethnicity for their whole stay at the University. Although many would argue that this takes away students’ fundamental freedoms, I’d like to point out that many of the administration’s new ideas do that anyway, and it’s for your own good so that’s OK. If I recall correctly, not even Princeton has an enforced multicultural living policy, so we’d be ahead of them!

Not that I care about status or anything but I know it’s important to the administration, and also, how am I supposed to work for a really good NGO if people know I went to a total party school like Duke?