Never have I ever climbed to the top of the Duke Chapel, burrowed through the East Campus tunnels or camped out in K-ville with 11 of my closest Crazies.
Never have I ever visited Duke’s Lemur Center, eaten a Pauly dog from the Plaza or uh, “danced horizontally” in Perkins’ stacks. Never have I ever driven around the traffic circle backwards, danced in the cage at Shooters II or “FLUNCH-d” a professor to score some free grub.
Never have I ever dated a Tar Heel or a Hokie or a Terp or a redhead. Never have I ever lost a fistfight or eaten yellow snow. Never have I ever dyed my hair.
Never have I ever streaked across Main West, skinny-dipped in the Central Campus pool or hijacked a C-1 bus. Never have I ever painted an East Campus bench or run for DSG.
Never have I ever finished a Friday crossword puzzle, aced a math test of any sort or taken more bin candy than I could physically eat. Never have I ever had a coke with Coach Cut.
Never have I ever scaled Mount Kilimanjaro, run a marathon without shoes or ridden a horse backwards, blindfolded, without a saddle… but I bet you haven’t done that either.
Never have I ever tried escargot, seen the Great Pyramids of Egypt or celebrated a double-digit birthday at Chuck E. Cheese. Never have I ever met the Pope or Obama or Brodhead or Santa.
Never have I ever changed a baby’s diaper, milked a cow or gone more than three days without a can of Diet Coke. Never have I ever swum with dolphins or sharks or killer whales. Never have I ever joined the circus or been invited to a Seder dinner.
Never have I ever witnessed the debauchery of a Mardi Gras in New Orleans or a New Year’s Eve in Times Square or an Oktoberfest in Munich. Never have I ever been to the Super Bowl or the World Series or the Stanley Cup. Never have I ever eaten a twinkie.
Never have I ever ridden a motorcycle, been in a play or snorted wasabi. Never have I ever squeezed my own orange juice or pierced my naval. Never have I ever worn white after Labor Day.
And after this weekend, never have I ever been more excited to be a Duke student. Sure, there are a lot of things that I’ve never done and probably never will, both in and away from Duke. I have, however, been given the opportunity to express my opinion to Duke Nation, or at least to those who read The Chronicle every other Friday, about what I have done at and because of Duke. So, here goes.
I have hiked through the Duke Forest, spent a lazy afternoon in the gardens and seen Paris from the top of the Eiffel Tower. I have procured enough Tailgate clothes to costume a small army for the next 10 years, embarrassed myself at more than one fraternity formal and sat front row at a Mike Posner concert. I have color-coordinated my dorm room closet, pulled an all-nighter and lazily bought all of my Christmas gifts from the University store on FLEX.
I have sorority-squatted in 784 facebook photos, met Dan Marino on spring break in Palm Beach and learned how to write persuasively. I have drunk an entire Loop milkshake (and the whipped cream!) all by myself and rented enough DVDs from Lilly to put Blockbuster out of business. I have heard Al Gore lecture, Kid Cudi sing and Third Eye Blind perform in front of a live student audience. I have even STI-ed a test, despite not being exactly what you might call “sick.”
And, drum roll please: I have skipped three days of class to road-trip to Indianapolis with eight of my closest friends. I have cheered on the men’s basketball team in Lucas Oil Stadium, twice, and seen Duke University win its fourth National Championship under Coach K. I have seen real tears, from players and fans, at an emotional trophy presentation at the Hilton. I have scored free drinks from many a wealthy alum and high-fived total strangers in the bathroom just because they too were wearing that infamous Duke blue. And, last but certainly not least, I have admitted to the every other Friday’s readers that I am now Cameron’s newest Crazie. Go Duke.
Molly Lester is a Trinity junior. Her column runs every other Friday.
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