second life

"You're much more attractive when you're not textually harassing me."

At least according to a call-out card on thatsnotcool.com, a Web site that aims to draw attention to cyberbullying. Although some say technology allows for more invasive forms of communication, several students said the popularity of these tools is more a reflection of today's on-demand culture.

"[Texting is] basically like a phone call, just prolonged and more broken up," senior Maggie Kissel said. "We can do it at our own time, when we're not in class or something like that."

Kissel estimates that she sends about 30 to 40 texts a day, approximately 20 of which are to her boyfriend who currently attends Rutgers Business School in New Jersey. She also prefers sending either texts or Facebook messages to people she doesn't feel comfortable enough calling, Kissel said.

"I don't have to feel pressured to keep a conversation going right then," she said. "I'm the type of person that doesn't really like calling people up, and it's a nice way for me to avoid uncomfortable conversations or things like that, but still allowing me to keep in contact with people."

Although sophomore Courtney Arrindell said she thinks "Facebook stalking" is more invasive than texting, she said it is a good way to get information about someone without actually knowing that person.

Ken Rogerson, a lecturer on the faculty of the DeWitt Wallace Center for Media and Democracy, said this aspect of Facebook reflects how interpersonal relationships have become more casual and in some cases more superficial.

"You have Facebook friends and real friends," Arrindell noted.

Rogerson said what normally happens on Facebook is "less stalking than voyeurism."

"People seem to like to watch what other people do, and some people like to be on stage. Those are the people who get a kick out of everything," Rogerson said. "[But] being online does not give you license to expose all parts of your life. You need to not only protect yourself but you need to be conscious of what you say to others online. I think there is a tendency to type faster than your brain goes."

He added that although definitions of privacy differ around the world, the United States leans toward self-regulation, especially when no one is being physically harmed.

In 2006, the National Crime Prevention council surveyed teens and found that 40 percent had experienced some form of cyberbullying in their lifetime. Today, 13 states have passed laws targeting cyberbullying.

Currently, neither North Carolina nor the University has a policy explicitly regarding cyberbullying. Vice President for Student Affairs Larry Moneta wrote in an e-mail that Duke avoids developing policies that are narrowly focused and prefers instead to have policies that speak in general to behavior, whether electronic or in person.

Arrindell said she does not think the passive act of reading individuals' Facebook profiles to learn information about them is hurtful, because the individual whose profile is being examined normally does not know it is occurring.

But Kissel noted that she has gotten more selective about whom she is friends with on Facebook as she has gotten older, especially because features like News Feed allow one's friends to be constantly notified about profile updates. Being listed as in a relationship on Facebook has the potential downside of having to "officially cancel your relationship" online, said Kissel, who has had to formally acknowledge a break up before on Facebook.

But for now, Kissel and her boyfriend are "in love and proud," she said of their decision to make their relationship "Facebook official."

"We were excited about the relationship and wanted to show the world," she said.