The Obama pool

Friendly wagers and office pools, which I do not condone, are an American institution. Whether it's the Super Bowl or March Madness, these guessing contests, which are absolutely deplorable, have become ubiquitous. Why should sports have all the fun, though? It would be a shame for all the excitement over the election and the new administration to end now, so let's continue with a betting pool based on the future of our country-an affront to all that is pure and good and right (are you happy now, NCAA). Just fill out your answers below, and (if I remember) I'll give the winner a lovely prize at our fifth (or, if President-elect Barack Obama gets a second term, 10th) class reunion.

1. President George W. Bush will go down in history as:

(A) the father of President Jenna Bush

(B) the greatest commissioner in Major League Baseball's history

(C) a hilarious recurring character on "The Colbert Report"

(D) the developer of his signature line of barbecue sauces.

1. The new White House puppy will be named:

(A) Spot

(A) beagle

(B) golden retriever

(C) bulldog

(D) poodle

(E) pit bull with lipstick

1. Vice President Joe Biden will:

(A) bring Delaware to the height of its glory and power

(B) end up getting whacked by Obama's Chicago mob connections (come on, you know he has them) after his gaffes drive down the president's approval rating a bit too much

(C) at least not shoot anyone in the face

1. During the Obama administration, the stock market will:

(A) gain 10,000 points through the sheer power of "Change We Can Believe In"

(B) lose 2,000 points after that guy who currently sits across from you in Econ gets drunk and spends all of Goldman Sachs' money at White Castle

(C) be largely replaced by trading baseball cards

1. Obama will be forced to declare war on:

(A) Iran

(B) North Korea

(C) Iceland

(D) Donald Trump

1. By the next election, the unemployment rate will be:

(A) higher than it is now

(B) lower than it is now

(C) the same

(D) nobody will be unemployed except you

1. The most embarrassing moment of the Obama years will be when:

(A) Secretary of State John Kerry defects to France

(B) a violent coup brings a repressive dictator to power in Kenya-who happens to be Obama's cousin

(C) Delta Forces raid the Oval Office because a typo indicated that Osama was hiding there

(D) the National Association of English Teachers corrects his slogan to "Change In Which We Can Believe"

1. Obama will finally solve the problem of:

(A) health care

(B) 39-Down on the New York Times crossword puzzle that's been bugging him for the past week

(C) illegal immigration

(D) how to make the perfect gin-and-tonic

1. The Obama administration's greatest crisis will be when:

(A) the economy forces the government to bail out Chipotle

(B) the Cleveland Indians win the World Series, causing riots in the key swing state of Ohio

(C) global warming causes a Category 5 hurricane in the key swing state of Florida

(D) global warming causes Al Gore to run in the 2012 primaries

1. Obama's greatest success will be:

(A) reducing global warming enough to allow ice skating in K-ville

(B) winning half of Siberia from Vladimir Putin in a poker game

(C) retiring the national debt by selling Gov. Sarah Palin swimsuit calendars

(D) getting Oprah to shut up about him

1. Obama's Republican opponent for re-election in 2012 will be:

(A) Mitt Romney

(B) Sarah Palin

(C) Mike Huckabee

(D) Peter Feaver

(E) Joe the Plumber

1. Obama will go down in history as:

(A) Bill Clinton with his pants on

(B) the greatest black president in American history

(C) the man who popularized fist-bumping

Hopefully, this pool can keep you interested in politics for the next four years. We can poke fun at the incoming administration (we certainly did our share with the last one), but on a more serious note, the engagement of young people in national and world affairs this year is a promising sign for the future. You could even call it "change we can believe in."

Jeff Ditzler is a Trinity senior. His columns runs every other Tuesday.