Judson Laipply is my personal hero. Sure, he's no New York City firefighter or Hayden Panettiere, but he's a hero nonetheless. You probably don't recognize his name, but I'm sure everyone reading this has seen his work.
Judson is the star of "Evolution of Dance"-the most viewed video on YouTube. How many views does he have, you ask? Well, to indicate the staggering enormity of this number, I will activate my keyboard's "Caps Lock" feature-80 MILLION VIEWS! It would take approximately 14 laughing baby videos to even come close to the number of views this man has amassed.
But seriously, he's just a normal guy who spliced some songs together, practiced a few dance moves and hit his camera's record button. That's it. In fact, that was probably the only time he hit the record button since "Evolution of Dance" is his only YouTube video. So in actuality, Judson is an unbelievably successful one-hit wonder. He's the Dexy's Midnight Runners of the Web-to use an analogy only regular viewers of VH1's "I Love the '80s" will understand.
And that's both the beauty and insanity of YouTube. It is so simple that even a completely incompetent person could use it, making it a perfect site for the people who run Room Pix.
Of course, Judson is not the only person to benefit tremendously from online exposure. YouTube has launched the careers of many people, including lonelygirl15, the Chocolate Rain guy and Barack Obama. I mean, c'mon, give Hillary a bikini model and a member of the Black Eyed Peas and just watch how many points she'll rise in the polls.
This year I, myself, have gotten sucked into the world of YouTube, which is either good or bad, depending on how much you enjoy procrastination. I helped create Duke University Improv's video "My New Haircut: Asian Edition," which has received 2.6 million views in five months-chump change to Mr. Laipply, but still pretty significant.
Anyway, this past Saturday, Judson visited Duke to perform his "own brand of inspirational comedy." Does that mean there are other brands of inspirational comedy out there? Does Jerry Seinfeld have his own inspiring brand-"What's the deal with daily affirmations?"
Well, at the end of his Duke show, just as he ends every show, Judson performed his signature "Evolution of Dance" routine and everybody went nuts, like they hadn't already seen it thousands of times.
Afterwards, Matt, a fellow DUI member, and I went up to meet Judson. As soon as we mentioned the words "Duke" and "improv" Judson starting talking about how much he loved "Asian Edition," even quoting the "sake bomb" line a couple of times. Here's the kicker: As we were leaving Judson turned to us (I am not making this up) and said, "Wow, it was so cool to meet you guys!" My heart skipped 80 million beats.
Now that I've become legitimized by the "Evolution of Dance" guy, the question I'm sure all of you are asking is: David, how do I become a YouTube star? Well, because I am such a nice guy, I have decided to spill my secrets and reveal what I believe are the best ways to achieve YouTube fame.
- Animals do the funniest things
Got footage of a baby panda sneezing? Still have that video of a squirrel water skiing? You are in great shape to make a killing online. Cats seem to do particularly well on YouTube for some reason, perhaps because clips of cute pussycats often pop up when people search for more adult material.
- Do something no one else would bother doing.
Are you super emo and into photography? Take a picture of yourself everyday for three years and string them all together in a spooky montage. The advantage to this strategy is that if anyone wants to copy you, it'll take three years before they get their version up on YouTube.
- Record obscure Japanese game shows off your TV.
I don't know about you, but I love watching strangers get slapped, drenched and tickled repeatedly. Plus, Asians are easy fodder for comedy-just ask the "distinguished" editors of The Chronicle.
- Get your cell phone camera out at concerts.
Seeing a good band? Don't dive into the mosh pit or crowd surf from the upper balcony to the stage. Instead, stand absolutely still and record a song or two using your camera phone. Nothing beats barely being able to see Maroon 5 perform their brand-new single for 17 seconds, while hearing a girl in the background yell, "Woo, Adam Levi-I said quit stepping on my toes."
- Be ridiculously good at video games.
Pretty self-explanatory. Watching someone dominate "Guitar Hero" is both amazing and comforting because you realize at least one person has less of a life than you. Bonus points: Making "Halo" characters dance along to a song about cats. Obviously.
- When all else fails, just copy another popular video.
Hey, it worked for "My New Haircut: Asian Edition."
David Distenfeld is a U.S. American sophomore in schools like such as in Trinity and, uh, in South Africa and the Iraq.
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