This thurs students at duke will have the chance to take part in the most hotly contested vote since 12 angry men. however many people i talk to just dont seem to care about the dsg election or havent decided if they are even going to vote at all. according to one of my columnist colleagues, 40 percent of students voted last yr. thats good but def not gr8.
so what is the reason for our lack of democratic participation? most official dsg election analysts chalk this up to general apathy and overall student body laziness. thats quite possible, but i believe there is another explanation.... dsg elections simply r not cool.
in general, people, and i would consider the majority of duke students to fall under that category, really like cool things. think about it. duke bball games-super cool. locopops-cool and frozen. ted williams-just plain frozen.
fortunately, i have a solution to increase the elections coolness factor... text messaging. to give u a sense of how committed i am to this idea, i have decided to text message this weeks entire column to my editor. its even harder than it sounds since i don't have a qwerty keypad and i have to send it to her after every 160 characters i type.
now i know what ur thinking: omg, u honestly believe texting is a gr8 idea... ROFL... LMAO... GTG... HDTV... 25%OFFALLBLOUSES.
well, stop rolling, get urself off the floor and hear me out. texting is clearly associ8d with hip young people. in fact, a recent survey by telecom worldwide magazine concluded that older mobile users (uncool alert!) are less likely to use text messaging. wow, really? how surprising! thats like concluding that eskimos are less likely to wear bathing suits or that obama is less likely to be criticized by the media.
but seriously, texting has already proven to be an effective voting tool. in 2004 more people voted during american idol than during the general election. while polling places were using outdated punch cards, seacrest and co were using, u guessed it, text messages.
however, its not just teenage girls who like to fill their screens with lols and brbs and other abrvs that r ez 2 rite qik.
everybody i know texts. even my mom has become a regular texter since she bought her brand new iphone. of course i always know when she sends me a message because all the words are spelled out, even long, complex ones like delicatessen.
before i continue tho, some full disclosure: i actually began as a texting skeptic. i used to think that if i wanted to communicate with someone i could just press that mysterious key known as the call button. texting just seemed so difficult and tedious. when i first started texting, it was like i was trying to play a piano wearing boxing gloves. it was many months before i learned about predictive text and for the longest time i would actually press 9 over and over until the letter z appeared.
thankfully i have come to my senses and how could i have not. texting has become more unavoidable than pastel shorts at a frat bbq.
simply put, texting is a common denomin8or for all of us duke students, which is why its ideal for the upcoming election.
many people think dsg is some hoity toity, elitist organization that takes itself too seriously... and they would be absolutely right. well, texting is the perfect thing to elimin8 all that perceived poop cod circumstance. (sorry, i meant to type "pomp and circumstance." stupid T9!)
plus, setting up the voting system would be so easy. each of the 4 prez candidates would be assigned a different number from 1 to 4 (based on physical appearance, naturally) and students would just have to text their choice to some central number. its really the perfect system.
now i know there are some of u reading this that dont have text messaging capabilities. to u all i say: leave ur cave and pedal ur stone car flintstones-style to ur nearest at&t store to sign up for a texting plan. i can also suggest a fantastic place to pick up a phonograph and some light bulbs.
look, the reality is that voting is really behind the times. i mean, we live in a world where people are even using text messaging to end relationships. ur dumped, sry. ttyl.
so hurry up, dsg. there r only a few more days to change the system and get what i unbiasedly predict will be a 90 percent voter turn out. cmon, do u really want to be less technologically inclined than my mom?
DDHABHCNRWTS4 (david distenfeld hates abbreviations because he can never remember what they stand for)
Get The Chronicle straight to your inbox
Signup for our weekly newsletter. Cancel at any time.