Although the Super Bowl blessed men across the United States this year with the satisfaction of watching perfect Tom Brady-with his perfect season, perfect girlfriend, perfect bone-structure and generally perfect life-lose after Eli Manning's slightly more perfect final drive, the annual national holiday/game is not all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows everywhere.
Sadly, pain sometimes accompanies joy for those of us watching the battle for the Lombardi Trophy-and the other five hours that come along with the broadcast.
In this year and in the past, there were mental-breakdown-inducing losses (I need counseling for my recurring dream in which Rex Grossman throws interceptions while Coach Ditka turns his head to the side and weeps tears of blood). There were Moral Majority-angering halftime shows (I am not referring to Janet Jackson's breast here; Prince's mere presence was far more scandalous when one considers the incontrovertible fact that Prince=sex).
Furthermore, there were the innumerable asinine commercials-most notably, those that were as racist as the Chevy ads are American (note: "American" in that context is pronounced like a border-watching Minuteman with a handlebar mustache and a gun says, "Stop talkin' Mexican! Speak American!" Am-urrrrrr-ah-kin.)
One company, salesgenie.com, aired two separate commercials that personally offend around 2.5 billion people. The advertisements were as follows:
Commercial one: A cartoon character, Hank Bulleymonger, who is the VP of sales for Acme Widget Company, storms down a hallway into a dimly lit office where he yells at his "worst salesman," an Indian man named Ramesh, that he will fire him if he does not double his sales. Ramesh pleads, "But Hank, I have seven kids," to which Hank replies, "Not my problem."
Ramesh goes on the Internet and finds salesgenie.com, which offers 100 free sales leads. There is a montage of Ramesh making sales, and his sales increase. The commercial ends with Hank Bulleymonger awarding Ramesh (with his seven children and wife behind him) the salesman of the year award.
Commercial two: The setting is Ling Ling's Bamboo Furniture Shack. A cartoon panda, Ling Ling, in a stereotypical "Asian accent" (think Long Duk Dong of Sixteen Candles fame), laments to his wife Ching Ching that they have no customers as he nails a "going out of business" sign to the door of his store. Ching Ching, in great distress at the prospect of losing the business and having to go back to the zoo, calls a panda psychic and asks in a female version of Ling Ling's accent what she should do.
The all-knowing panda psychic, speaking without an accent, advises Ching Ching to tell her husband that he should get 100 free sales leads at salesgenie.com. She then tells Ling Ling to stop eating the bamboo furniture. Six months later, Ling Ling is in a convertible with two infant children and a now-glamorous Ching Ching who dons large pink sunglasses and a fur coat. The family is outside of its massive store-Ling Ling's Bamboo Furniture Emporium-on their way to see the Grizzly Bears (pronounced Gwizzwy) at the zoo.
I missed the first commercial and its effect on those who I was watching the game with in my dorm's common room, but I was there for the aftermath of the story of Ling Ling and Ching Ching. First, there was silence. I could sense that it was not a quiet elation for the panda family's fulfillment of the American Dream or a sigh of relief that Ling Ling and Ching Ching's two new cubs will help restore endangered giant panda populations.
Nobody knew how to react to the situation. Should we just laughe it off? Take out an ad condemning the commercial in a newspaper? Firebomb salesgenie.com headquarters?
Nationally, there has been little reaction to the commercials. Perhaps the Al Sharptons of the world only become outraged when racial epithets are thrown about. Perhaps it's a racial double standard. Whatever the reason, it appears that the forces of political correctness strike somewhat at random.
On one hand, the politically correct and racially sensitive tend to go overboard when they get behind a cause that may not be a battle worth fighting. On the other hand, there are occasions when something truly racist and genuinely offensive merits a public objection. In the case of the salesgenie.com commercials, as ignorant and insulting as they may be, the general reaction of disgust without uproar is probably the best.
Earlier this week, salesgenie.com took the panda commercial off air. This, after the hullaballoo surrounding Don Imus, Trent Lott, Duke Lacrosse and every other race-related controversy that we have come across in the past few years, is a refreshing conclusion to something so offensively foolish.
Jordan Rice is a Trinity sophomore. His columns runs every other Friday.
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