If you're anything like me, you love sports and you love movies. And the best part is that they aren't even that different.
Whether it's tear-jerkers (VCU's upset win in last year's NCAA Tournament), thrillers (Dockery's 45-foot buzzer-beater two years ago), or science-fiction (UNC beating Duke this year), they both have the power to evoke strong emotions.
Well, the nominations for this year's Academy Awards were announced yesterday, and I figured there's no better way to kick off the Oscar season than to bring it a little closer to home. Maybe give some of these movies a Duke personality, if you will.
So now presenting, for the first time ever, the Duke Men's Basketball and Hollywood Analogies Nominees! Give me a break on the title, guys. The writer's strike is still on.
Best Picture:
Atonement (Tennessee): This movie has been dubbed one of the best love stories of all time. The Volunteers might beg to differ. Just ask head coach Bruce Pearl, who used body paint and hopped up and down bare-chested with the rest of the student body to support a women's basketball game last year. How many had to use the ol' something's-in-my-eye excuse after seeing that one?
There Will Be Blood (North Carolina): In the days leading up February 6th's potential top-five matchup between Duke and UNC, ESPN is bound to show the clip of Gerald Henderson accidentally bumping (or violently assaulting, depending on who you ask) Tyler Hansbrough from last season's contest. With Duke running on all cylinders and UNC recently faltering, the Blue Devils might just be able to deliver a mortal blow on the road without swinging any fists (or elbows).
No Country For Old Men (Memphis): This gruesome film is about a ruthless killer chasing a small-town hick all over the expanses of Texas, and even though you're pulling for him the whole time, you know there's no way the hick stands a chance. Kind of like everyone in Conference USA trying to stand up to Memphis. The Tigers have won all four of their conference games this season by an average of 31.8 points per game. In the country of C-USA, Memphis simply has no equal.
Michael Clayton (Duke): Michael Clayton or Michael Kryzezwski, same difference. Clayton will stop at nothing to find the truth behind a cover-up, while Kryzezwski will stop at nothing to distinguish himself as one of basketball's greatest coaches. I mean, he could possibly retire from coaching with more than three NCAA championships, an Olympic gold medal and the most wins ever by a head coach. A stretch? Maybe. But I doubt Coach K has any problem being compared to George Clooney.
Juno (Kansas): Right off the bat, you're asking yourself, "How the hell is he gonna pull this off?" Easy. Juno is about a 16-year-old girl who has to deal with the adversity of an unplanned pregnancy. Kansas is a team that has had to deal with the adversity of head coach Bill Self's unexpected first-round NCAA Tournament exits. In the end, though, Juno sticks with her boyfriend, and Kansas has stuck with Self. Now look at them: happily ever after.
Best Actor in a Leading Role:
George Clooney (Gerald Henderson): Not only do the ladies love both of these men's handsome looks, but the E! channel even reported that Clooney's closest friends call him "G" as well. Clooney always plays a smooth cat on the screen, while Henderson has made a name for himself with his graceful athleticism on the court.
Daniel Day-Lewis (Taylor King): Day-Lewis plays a man who scours the California coast hell-bent on claiming as much oil for himself as possible and taking anything he wants. And who else doesn't have a problem taking anything he wants? King laughs at the meek who shoot threes from just behind the arc instead of from a few more yards away. In fact, one ESPN commentator even described King's freakish three-point range by saying, "He's open as soon as he enters the building."
Tommy Lee Jones (DeMarcus Nelson): Jones has distinguished himself as a versatile actor, but one role he's mastered repeatedly is that of a sheriff. Think about it: The Fugitive, Men in Black, Volcano, No Country For Old Men and, yes, even Man of the House. Well, nobody lays down the law like Nelson. Both players and coaches alike have described him as the team's rock, something all coaches would love to say about their squad's captain.
Johnny Depp (Lance Thomas): In Sweeney Todd, by far one of the year's weirdest movies, Depp plays a singing barber who murders virtually everyone who enters his shop. Who knows how good Thomas' singing voice is, but he can sure cut down his opponents any time he wants. His superb play Saturday helped the Blue Devils limit Clemson's talented frontcourt. Sometimes overlooked for his lack of offensive production, Thomas has been one of Duke's best defenders all year.
Viggo Mortensen (Jon Scheyer): After Mortensen exploded onto the Hollywood scene as the heroic Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, it took him four years to land another big role in Eastern Promises (aside from the cinematic masterpiece Hidalgo). Last year, Scheyer was one of Duke's best players, finishing second in minutes and third in scoring on the team. This season, though, he was relegated to the bench, and people wondered how he would respond. Despite the doubters, he has embraced his slightly-diminished role by scoring just 0.8 points per game fewer than last year in 5.5 fewer minutes.
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