Kid Rock

Why? Just, why?

Its identity crisis aside, the ironic thing about Kid Rock's latest album, Rock N Roll Jesus, is that its very existence proves that Rock certainly isn't one. Instead, a more appropriate name might be: Country Music Half-Heartedly Disguised as Rock & Roll with Contradictory Underlying Social Messages and a Touch of Synthesizers for Good Measure. But that might be too many syllables (although let's face it, it really shouldn't matter when iTunes automatically imports song and album names anyway-hello, Panic! at the Disco and Fall Out Boy).

In all seriousness, though, the album is honestly confused. It starts out as expected with "Rock N Roll Jesus," an egotistic trip for Rock with a strong '80s vibe that sounds similar to Rock's 1998 "Cowboy." Unfortunately for Rock, this standard and mediocre song makes the only thing he's really bringing back seem to be bad Bon Jovi imitations, rather than "Sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll." The story doesn't get better with his latest single, "So Hott" (note the two Ts), which is likely to become the anthem of a night at Shooters.

It's trashy Southern, only catchy when drunk and exclusively centered on the hook-up, with a chorus that screams: "I wanna get you alone/I wanna get you stoned/I don't wanna be your friend/I wanna f- you like I'm never gonna see you again." No matter how many times it's played, it would be obnoxiously overdone. Let's not even talk about the next song, "Sugar," which starts to get painful at around 50 seconds.

Otherwise, the album leans towards the line-dancing crowd with forays into the strangely, hypocritically philosophical, with songs like "When U Love Someone" that are reminiscent of "Picture," his duet with Sheryl Crow. Religion's strong influence on the album can be seen in the lyrics and titles of songs like "Blue Jeans and a Rosary" and "Amen," which even has an all-out gospel choir that kicks in at 3:57 with a chorus of amens.

Overall, it's hard to pinpoint exactly what Kid Rock is trying to express about Robert James Ritchie, or really if he's trying to say anything at all. Basically, if you're about to download Rock N Roll Jesus, please refer to the first line of this review. You'll probably hear him an offensive amount of times at Shooters anyway.