The hottest item this Valentine's Day isn't chocolate or flowers. It's not even jewelry. Instead, the modern boyfriend may be as likely to give his sweetheart a vibrator as he is a dozen roses. And-guess what-she'll probably appreciate it.
Toys, orgasms and women's sexuality in general have become more mainstream in recent years around the country, and the effects can be seen in Durham and on campus.
"There's growing awareness nationally in our culture of Sex and the City and various other things like the liberator in Meet the Fockers, which we sell," said Matt Ferber, owner of local adult stores Frisky Business Boutique and Maxx Adult Emporium. "People are more willing to discuss it and share their experiences with each other."
Ferber also cited the Internet as one of the reasons for today's increased curiosity about all things sex. He said that people explore and look on the Internet first and then come in to his stores and talk to his employees.
Among those coming into Ferber's stores to check out their international range of products are Duke students, whether on a dare or in search of adding something to their sex lives.
"I have gotten a toy [at Frisky Business]," said a male senior who declined to be identified. "The first couple of times I went, it was for the novelty. A lot of Duke freshmen go there to giggle at it and I know a lot of the fraternity pledges have to go there and buy something."
In addition to entertaining the immature, Frisky Business and Maxx also aim to enlighten the adventurous.
"We really help people to explore their own sexual pleasures and curiosities. We give seminars, all of our products have info cards and our staff is trained about what products are, what they do, how to use them," Ferber said. "We're not trying to replace sexual counselors or the like but we think we can give people useful factual info."
A female student, also a senior who declined to be identified, said she she had a positive experience at the store.
"I have been and it was way less sketchy than I expected," she said. "I think it's fine to express sexual things as women, but I wouldn't express those things except in front of girlfriends."
Two years ago, in Spring 2005, two residence coordinators decided to jump on the sex toy education bandwagon and created a sex toy work shop at Duke. Another workshop was held this fall, and a racially and culturally diverse group of 60 Duke women attended, according to Claire Robbins, program coordinator for the Women's Center.
"The [founders] wanted to promote female sexuality and conversations about it," Robbins said. "They thought the hook-up culture was that men could expect sexual pleasure more than women could."
But, some men and women do not engage in the behaviors that include getting as much as possible while giving the least, as the male senior described it. The female student is an example. She said she has chosen to not fully participated in the so-called hook-up culture.
"I would guess that in the context [of Duke], most guys if they are in a relationship try to do everything they can to please their companion," said the anonyomous male. "I don't know if they all go to the sex toy store, but they should."
Ferber said Duke students are welcome to come in for whatever reason as long as they do not disrupt other patrons, and that more often than not the students who come are there to shop.
"We have a handful of people who come in just come in because it's a fun place to visit. We have grown-ups who do that," Ferber added. "Once in a while we have some frat guys show up. College students have always been friendly to us."
Today's adult product industry no longer caters solely to men's needs. For example, Ferber said Frisky Business is aimed more at women and has a larger selection of lingerie and toys, while Maxx Adult Emporium is designed to be more masculine. Rather, it seems sexual satisfaction of women and men is equally important.
"Your job as a companion, as a lover is to do everything to make the other person feel good, and part of that is to make them fell good sexually," said the male senior. "Anything you do to do that is good and you shouldn't let embarrassment or shyness to keep you from going [to a store]."
Something to keep in mind while making plans for this Feb. 14.
Get The Chronicle straight to your inbox
Signup for our weekly newsletter. Cancel at any time.