The University has been through a lot since I first stepped foot on this campus a year ago, but perhaps nothing as bad as what transpired Saturday. Today is the first day I am embarrassed to call myself a Duke student.
In case you were unaware, which I'm assuming is roughly two-thirds of the student body, our football team lost to I-AA Richmond. Final score: 13-0.
That's right, we got shut out at home on opening day to a Division I-AA football team. And I bet there were more Richmond fans at the game than Duke fans.
Soon after hearing the result of the game, I decided to do what they call in the biz some investigatory journalism. By that, I mean I turned on my Playstation to play some NCAA Football 2007. I checked out the ratings for the two teams. Duke: B Overall, C+ Offense, B+ Defense. Solid. Richmond: D- Overall, D- Offense, D- Defense. They don't give out F's.
I didn't watch the Duke football game. I was busy watching the Notre Dame and Auburn games. They were pretty awesome games, mostly because the atmosphere is undeniably different from that of any other sport. The fans at those schools don't just pack their 100,000-seat stadiums every game, but they actually care about what happens. That's what makes it real college football and not just the next step from high school. A real school lives and dies on its football team.
We try to make up for it with basketball, but it can never reach the level of what football can bring. Enough is enough, Duke. I just need one freakin' winning season before I graduate.
We've been the laughing stock of college football for years, only now we are simply accepting it. We can't let this happen. I read this in a recent espn.com article: " The whole thing just goes to show that recruiting well does nothing but cause headaches and distractions. The Temples and Dukes of the world never have to deal with this stuff. Plus, their seasons are over well before December, meaning they don't have to worry about football practice and bowl games and stuff like that getting in the way of spending the holidays with family."
I felt like I got kicked square in the nuts when I read this, not because the writer mocked our football program, but because he compared us to Temple. I do not pay $45,000 a year to be compared to Temple.
We claim to hold a higher standard academically for our players than most other schools, and that this holds us back in terms of recruiting. That is ludicrous.
I'm not saying it isn't true. I'm just saying it's absurd that we have stricter limitations. Our football players don't do their own work. Might as well get better players who also don't do their own work. The difference between a 1,000 on the SAT and a 1,200 is very minimal once you get to Duke.
We try to mix our academic image with our sports image, but it just doesn't work for football.
I propose a vote in the matter of Separation of Academics and Football. We need to choose one extreme or another. Either we actually try to keep our football team near the same academic caliber as everyone else, or we do the right thing and say " F this, let's win a Sugar Bowl!"
It's amazing that while we're the only basketball team that's always on national television, we're the only football team that never is. I was flipping through the channels the other day and found Florida International vs. Middle Tennessee State on ESPN. We honestly can't compete with that?
I quickly realized that the answer is no, and for one reason. Middle Tennessee State had some smoking hot babes, f'sho. If the quality of the football isn't going to be very good anyway, might as well show some half-naked college girls to keep the middle-aged men at home watching. I've definitely noticed a correlation between quality of play and the quality of girls in the stands. Seriously, watch any big-time football game on ABC. The better the teams, the hotter/rowdier/more naked the girls.
All the more reason to bring back real tailgate. Why would the hot girls go to a crappy football game when they can start pre-gaming for Shooters? Call me crazy, but I think this can be a plausible situation: Larry Moneta takes away tailgate completely for three years, then inexplicably brings it back, new and improved:
University sponsored kegs, 10-foot funnels, Duke Police chugging Busch, the works. The sorority girls proceed to get so drunk that they all follow the crowd into the stadium and actually attend the game. The TV cameras get a hold of this and all of a sudden the networks notice the hot girls at the game and begin airing Duke football. The top recruits start to see Duke on TV and realize that it is in fact Division 1. Duke becomes the new hot school for big-time recruits and in five years wins the National Championship.
Damn, I knew that Larry Moneta had something up his sleeve!
The Morning Wood is sticking it out with the Duke Football team. Tom Segal thinks he can start at quarterback.
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