Sticking it to The Man

Guess what? Duke Athletics has a fever, and the only prescription. is more cowbell.

Or maybe it isn't.

Let me explain.

I was at the women's soccer game this weekend. The Blue Devils lost to Florida, but that isn't the point.

(URGENT ANTI-TRAIN UPDATE: Speaking of losing, Duke Football not-won again this weekend. Shocking. Two games into the three-game season series, Duke is now trailing the State of Virginia, 49-0. On the bright side, the Blue Devils haven't not-won against the spread in the last two weeks, which is completely worthless, but kind of nice. If only the NCAA would let Duke start each game with a 36-point head start. And now, back to the column. More Anti-Train another time).

So anyway, within the first five minutes of the game, Duke falls behind, 1-0. Predictably, the crowd is doing its best impression of Gulliver sleeping in the Land of the Lilliputians. Hey, it's a soccer game-it's hard to get excited.

During halftime, four guys show up with a dorm-hallway trashcan, a bucket, a frying pan and some dowels.

As the second half starts, they start beating on their improvised instruments and chanting. They legitimately seem excited to be there. The frying pan even sounds a little bit like a cowbell, which is a bonus.

So I checked it out, and the spoilsport was actually telling the truth. There is an NCAA rule in place that prohibits the use of artificial noisemakers at all soccer matches. According to the 2006 NCAA Men's and Women's Soccer Rules and Interpretations (Rule 5, Section 5g), "The referee has discretionary power to suspend the game, stop the clock and direct the game management personnel to remove artificial noisemakers, air horns, electronic amplifiers and any other items that are not permitted."

Apparently, there were some concerns about sportsmanship, which led to the adoption of similar rules in almost every sport.

I'm as much for sportsmanship as the next guy (unless the next guy is Virginia Tech rover Aaron Rouse-that late hit on Thaddeus Lewis was probably a crime in the state of Virginia), but this is ridiculous.

Soccer, especially, is meant to be played with music and chanting and cheering in the background. The usual way this argument is presented goes like this:

I went to Europe/South America/Australia when I studied abroad, and at all the soccer/football/rugby/Aussie rules football games I went to the fans sang and danced and chanted and it was awesome just like the whole abroad experience which-did I mention?-was fantastic and made me so cultured.

I'm not going to do that because 1) I didn't go abroad and 2) I'm not that cultured.

But from my domestic experience-right here at Koskinen Stadium on Duke's campus-I know that gameday is better when fans are given free reign. For 30 glorious seconds, the fans were cheering, the little girls were dancing, and the frying pan was clanging.

It was beautiful. And then it stopped.

So now I'm taking it to the people. It's time to start the Cowbell Revolution.

It's technically against the rules to bring artificial noisemakers, but the soccer rule book doesn't include a penalty for breaking the regulation. Plus, enforcement of the rule is up to the discretion of the referee.

I say we take advantage.

It's time for civil disobedience. Bring artificial noisemakers to the games and when the Duke-polo man tells you they're not allowed, tell him you don't care. Keep banging on those pots, pans, cowbells and trashcans until he kicks you out of the stadium and then keep banging in the parking lot.

Let's stick it to The Man.