Attention camp counselors, life guards, part-time clothing store cashiers and anyone else who has spent the entire summer with that "man this job sucks, I'm sure happy I'm going to Duke in the fall" look on his or her face.
You're almost there.
Freshman Orientation--that hormone-fueled land of drunken hook-ups and awkward first meetings--is almost upon you.
Unless orientation has changed drastically in three years, you're going to hear the same three questions over and over again: What's your name? Where are you from? Why did you decide to come to Duke?
(Some people will ask you what you're thinking of majoring in. Don't speak to these people; they don't know where the free Busch Light is.)
If you're being honest with yourself, your answer to that last question should be, "I came to Duke for the basketball."
Other people might look at you funny (unless you're Gerald Henderson, Jon Scheyer, Brian Zoubek or Lance Thomas), but deep down they'll know you're right. Almost everyone comes to Duke for the basketball. That--or the East to West Campus bus system (You'd be surprised).
Those of us who came to Duke for the right reason are aware of one simple truth. You get three chances to pick favorite teams: when you're born, when a new team moves to your city and when you go to college.
No, you can't add a favorite team (Sorry sweetie) because it's your significant other's favorite and you can't just become some squad's newest die-hard because they signed your favorite player. That's weak, and you know it.
Basically, this might be your last shot to add a new (and good) team. There are literally thousands of people out there wearing Duke apparel that would love a decent reason to be a true Duke fan. But you, you've got an excuse, an opportunity. You're a 1920's-era immigrant on the fast-paced steamer to America where the streets are paved with gold. Don't blow it.
Right now, you have two options. You can seize the moment and accept the Blue Devils as your own team--good times or football season. You can go to the games, learn the cheers and sing the fight song. You can buy the Duke hat and the Duke shirts and the Duke sweatpants and the officially-licensed Duke logo three-piece bathroom set (featuring a bath mat, pedestal mat and toilet-seat cover for only $45.99 at the Duke store!).
Or you can be that guy. You can be the one that sees the Statue of Liberty from the deck of his steamer and jumps off the boat. The guy that shows up at Duke, the sports fan world at his feet, and says, "Nah, not for me. I think I'll just be the incessantly negative guy whose friends hate watching games with him."
Maybe you want to be different from all the other kids. Maybe you think it's not cool to be a fan of your school's sports teams. Whatever it is, you're not drinking the Duke Kool-Aid and no one's going to make you. It's your choice.
But there are going to be consequences. When Duke's playing on a Saturday afternoon, you'll have to go to the library. When your classmates tear the goalposts down, or celebrate a basketball victory with a bonfire, you'll have to sit in your room alone. People will shun you like you're a leper with bad B.O. You will have no friends.
But like I said, it's your choice.
I'm not saying that you have to go all the way in the tank for Duke sports. You can be a Blue Devil fan and still think that tenting is stupid, or that the guys that paint their whole body for games just do it because they love being on television. And you don't have to give up your old college team either (even if its Maryland or UNC), because that would be sports fan treason.
But come on. The Promised Land's in sight. Get off the boat--and on The Train.
Alex, I thought you retired The Train after Duke lost to LSU..
My bad.
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