So I have been formulating an editorial in my mind for the past three years about our Alma Mater, the song to which only people in the Duke Chorale know the words. In this editorial, I was going to sing the praises of the school we all love and adore. I was going to tell sweet anecdotes of spring break chorale tour concerts in New England and Florida where alumni stood up during that beautiful song, tears in their eyes, remembering the best days of their lives-days spent at Duke. Duke was the place where they matured, where their minds were expanded, where they learned how to become adults.
It was going to be a real tear-jerker.
But looking at the events occurring on the Duke's campus the past few months and how I have reacted to them, I realize that I still have a lot to learn. The ways I have reacted to both the Dukeobsrvr's blog and the recent accusations aimed at the men's lacrosse team have surprised and disappointed me. I think this is true of us all. I believe we all have the potential to mature, but with that we need to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions.
I will start out with myself. I will do anything to make someone laugh. Most of the time (I hope) this is a good thing. But recently I find myself regretting comments or jokes that I have made.
What seems like a one-liner to lighten the mood could really be something to which a passerby would take offense. Jill Hopman's editorial was correct; you never know who is watching you, listening to you or judging you. Something that you mean as a joke or that is well-intentioned on your part could be truly hurtful to someone else. Did that comment that hurt another really help my life? No. Did that inappropriate joke I giggled at help another person out? No.
I am struggling to control my comments and ensure that when I do speak, I say something that if repeated in any context, I would still be proud I said.
Still, we as students have been making a lot of accusations lately. The rumor mill at Duke is always running at 150 percent. Just as my jokes didn't benefit, but only hurt. What do these rumors do to people? When I laugh at a derogatory rumor or stereotype, I am only hurting that person. I tend to even joke about how people stereotype me. Sorority girl? Yeah, I obviously dress up to impress the boys. Engineer? Yes, I am a huge nerd who loves to talk in Matlab code. Choir nerd? Just get me started on those Broadway tunes. By making fun of even myself, I am only expanding the gaps that tear us apart.
Now imagine the effect stereotyping has on someone who is already (and unwillingly) in the public spotlight.
Especially in times like these we need to realize and cling to the one thing that brings us all together. No matter what social group or sports team, whether guilty or not guilty, whether man or woman, minority, engineer, heterosexual, asexual, homosexual or anything else, we are all Duke students.
The truth will all come out. There is no need to judge anyone, regardless of which side they take in a controversial issue. Separated, we can make little difference. Together, we can do the constructive things and have control over them.
Once we are all mature enough to get over our own insecurities, our desire to fit in, then I can stop making jokes I regret the next day, the Dukeobsrvr will be so nauseated by the peace on campus he/she will have nothing to write about, the truth will come out. When all has settled, I can write my sappy story about the Duke Alma Mater. I know I have a long way to go, but I'm going to try.
-Sara Oliver
The author is a Pratt senior.
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