During the women's soccer team's NCAA Tournament second-round match Nov. 13 against Yale, senior Carolyn Ford was preparing for overtime with the score tied at one and time winding down.
But with an unexpected last-second goal by the Bulldogs, Ford's career abruptly ended.
"We weren't expecting it at all," said Ford, a two-time captain of the team. "First of all we lost the game, which is never a good feeling. But second, it's your last game ever as a Duke athlete with your team. I mean, it's heartbreaking the way we lost, with their fans rushing the field and no chance of coming back. It's like you lost a part of you because it's all you've been for the last four years."
Ford is not alone in her feeling. At the end of their seasons, all seniors must face the reality that their college-and perhaps athletic-careers are finished. They can never look to the next season, and they never have another chance.
For some, that knowledge is what propels them through their final games. For others, reality does not strike until the final whistle of their last game.
This fall, many seniors took full advantage of their final seasons in blue and white, leading their teams to some of their best seasons in recent history. Nonetheless, when it was all over and done with, the seniors all agreed that they were emotional.
"Regret comes to mind," men's soccer midfielder Blake Camp said. "You hear that final whistle and you immediately start thinking what you could have done differently."
Like women's soccer, many of this fall's teams saw their seasons end in disheartening ways. The sixth-seeded men's soccer team was upset in the second round of the NCAA Tournament by No. 11 Creighton. Despite initially feeling crushed, Camp looks back on the season and the team with nothing but joy and pride, he said.
Field hockey forward Katie Grant's final game came in the national championship, her third loss in as many appearances. After defeating three-time defending champion Wake Forest in the semifinals, Grant and her team felt confident about their chances to capture a national title, she said.
"I don't think initially when it ended, I knew it was the end of the career," Grant said. "It was just another national championship not won. After that initial feeling when I knew we had lost the game, I was like, 'Oh my God, I'm not going to have another game to get that back.' It was really hard, but I just remember throwing my stick. I didn't really know what to think."
One last go-around
Regardless of the emotions that each senior experienced with the end of his or her career, each one agreed that this last season was different than any other. With time running out, urgency became a pervading feeling, Ford said.
"Every single practice and every single opportunity to spend with your teammates, you take advantage of it and have no regrets about it," said Ford, who started all 86 games over her four years with the team. "Whatever you walk away from, either a game or a dinner with the team, have no regrets about it. Take it all in."
Grant believed that being a leader and being a senior went hand-in-hand.
"Other years, you don't really feel that you need to be a leader," Grant said. "I felt like me and all the other seniors, from the very beginning we knew we were going to be leaders. Maybe I was thinking every game could be my last.... You feel the need to set the example."
Camp, who hopes to make the leap from the college ranks into Major League Soccer, agreed that other players looked up to him simply because of his three previous years of experience. But he also said the seniors on the team were able to direct Blue Devils towards the goals they wished to achieved.
"Prior to the ACC Championships, [the seniors] had a team meeting," Camp said. "We voiced our opinions that we really felt that we needed to win something in order to submit our place on the wall of history, at least with Duke soccer."
The team did go on to win the ACC title, and looking back, Camp is just happy to have been a part of it all.
Of course, among the good memories there are the ones that haunt some players. Ranked in the top-three all-time at Duke in goals, assists and points, Grant said the national championship game has played through her head almost everyday since.
"Everyday I think about this open shot I had," Grant said. "And I missed it. I think, what if I had made it. But I don't dwell on it. I don't think there's anything to regret. It was a great career."
It's not easy to walk away
With the end of the competition and the end of athletics, one more thing must come to an end too-practice.
Sarah Salem of the volleyball team will always fondly remember her days as a player but is grateful to have some free time back in her life, she said.
"First, it was kind of sad," Salem said. "Then it was followed by relief. Sports take up a lot of your life. Now I get to experience college without five hours taken out of my life everyday."
Still, the team bonding during practices ranks among Salem's top memories, she said.
"[I will miss] not hanging out with the girls as much," the team's fifth-most prolific scorer this season said. "On the team, we all got along. We were forced to hang out for four to five hours. We joked around a lot and had fun practices."
With every player experiencing different withdrawals from their respective sports, they now have to look forward to a future athletics. The players noted that they have taken major life lessons away from their time as Blue Devils.
"It's opened a new chapter," Ford said. "One of the big things is teamwork, just learning to work with a group of people. Obviously, 25 girls don't always get along. Just being so committed to something, giving everything you have to one thing to be successful. There's a list, I could go on forever."
Ready to enter the real world
As the players move from their collegiate careers and into their true occupations, they can begin applying the lessons learned from their sports. Salem said she recognizes the similarities between a sports team and a business.
"I think that playing sports in college teaches you how to work well against all odds," Salem said. "You have a coach who's pressuring you to play and perform well, and then you have to do well in school. You get more time-management skills and how to deal with a boss, even if they're always on you."
While the final days of these athletes' careers at Duke have already passed, they have undoubtedly left an indelible mark on the University. Now they must begin all over again with new teams, new goals and new attitudes.
They would be the first to say that while they are leaving Duke, Duke will never leave them.
"We're going to pursue things," Ford said. "And we're going to take all the things we've learned here and be just as successful."
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