Duke's multimillion-dollar development campaign, which has given rise to Bostock Library and a new, Mad Hatterized Perk, can only be described as sick-nasty.
These projects will be a boon to the University in attracting attention from prospective students and professors, along with donations from alumni.
But as much as I love the idea of cupcakes and water-free urinals (despite what all notions of common sense may suggest about the ridiculousness of the latter), and labs for research-the nature of which is beyond my grasp-I can't help but feel a bit miffed.
Sure, these projects are glitzy, intellectually and aesthetically uplifting and pretty freakin' sweet overall. But compared to the fortunes we sink on this stuff, how much would it cost to make my day-to-day life a little better?
For example, I love Bostock. It's got that great wood-grain-glass-and-carpet feel to it-it almost seems like a bell-hop should be carrying my backpack for me on the elevator ride upstairs. But the lobby's missing some crucial accoutrements.
I don't know about the backroom financial dealings of the University (ask that Elliott Wolf kid about that). But don't you think they could have kicked in another couple G to get some electric staplers? We have one in Vesic Library on Science Drive, and let me tell you, it's a treat. And I don't mean to brag, but I have yet to encounter a manual stapler that can handle my thickest documents.
Deficiencies in paper binding options aside, I'd like it if we threw some scratch at bread-and-butter campus life issues. Can someone install that soundproof tiling stuff in the ceilings on Central? Right now I feel like I'm listening to sasquatch going about his daily routine upstairs. I don't have class on Friday, and I certainly don't want to have to wake up to the sound of an ogre stomping on bones.
Speaking of Central, I was really excited to find out that I'd be living across the street from tennis courts. That was before I found out that apparently they lie on a fault line. It's okay though, leave the surfaces untended long enough and the crab grass will just take over-we can pretend it's Wimbledon. But unless they keep the nets (at least, the ones that still exist) in good shape, we're going to have to start really using the honor system ("That one was just a little low").
It would also be nice if Duke Cable got some reliability. My roommate and I ordered the Platinum package because we're serious about our TV. We didn't splurge so that we could find out sporadically that Cinemax isn't working and we won't be able to watch Intimate Sessions Volume 4 tonight. I can put up with a lot, but when I'm missing the Sunday night HBO lineup, something has to be done.
I'm glad Duke is making grandiose developments and additions. That big Belltower honestly sounds like it's great. But let's get a committee going to look at the mundane but crucial details. Like my recreational or soft-core porn needs. It may be an exaggeration to say that my inability to find an adequate stapler is a sign of a rotting foundation beneath the Duke behemoth. But let's pay some attention to such matters so we don't have to take that risk.
David Kleban is a Trinity junior. His column appears every other Thursday.
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