Kristin Cooper should be celebrating her 30th birthday tomorrow night. Instead, her mother, Andrea Cooper, spoke to Duke students Wednesday night in Page Auditorium about how rape and its emotional aftermath claimed the life of her daughter, in order to raise awareness during Sexual Assault Prevention Week.
“During her spring break as a freshman, her car rolled after sliding on black ice while driving in Colorado,” Cooper said. “I was thinking, ‘Oh God, I hope that was the worst thing that will ever have to happen to my daughter.’”
Little did she know merely a year later, on New Year’s Eve 1995, a heavily depressed Kristin would take her own life because she had become a victim of rape.
Cooper stressed the importance for family and friends to comfort and listen to victims of sexual assault. Cooper, whose daughter committed suicide a decade ago now, has been telling her story and spreading awareness to audiences for the last seven years.
Cooper and her husband had come home from a New Year’s Eve party expecting their daughter to be out at a friend’s house until late that night. To their surprise, Kristin’s car sat in their driveway at 2 a.m.
“We heard Kristin’s music blasting from inside the family room, and we thought it was strange because she always played her own CDs and tapes in her room,” Cooper said. “We found her lying on the couch and I thought she was fast asleep, but then it looked like she wasn’t breathing.” Andrea said she rushed over to her daughter to check her pulse when she found a gun lying next to her. Kristin had shot herself.
Her parents knew of no reason why their daughter would commit suicide, and it wasn’t until two weeks after her death that they were able to read the contents of a journal the police had found by her side.
Kristin was a sophomore at Baker University in Kansas on scholarship for both the performing arts and academics. A lifeguard and member of Alpha Chi sorority, Kristin had enjoyed her first year at school and had almost immediately become involved in a serious relationship with a man a year older than her at school. But before entering her sophomore year, Kristin had attended a party hosted by her co-lifeguards and that night had become a victim of rape to a man that she had known well. Her mother said he had been to the Cooper house many times before, and she described him as a “nice, clean-cut guy.”
Kristin’s friend said that Kristin told her boyfriend what had happened and he broke up with her shortly after. The event caused her to fall into a depression that was soon noticeable to her friends. As time moved on, her entire sorority found out what had happened to her, and Kristin even confessed to a friend that she was planning on killing herself. Cooper said her daughter had called home multiple times crying because of the breakup, yet she knew nothing about the rape. She said it was not until she read her journal, which contained many pages describing the rape, that she was able to understand the pain Kristin was enduring and what had happened.
“It was inspirational and interesting to hear a personalized story,” senior Jennifer Beall said. “It was good to see this rather than having information thrown at you on the walkway during the day.”
Cooper said in her speech, “You may feel guilty, worthless, hopeless when something like this happens to you.... While body is violated, the spirit is maimed.” She encouraged family and friends to listen to victims—not to be too overbearing, but be “helpful, warm and comforting.”
She noted that 45 percent of date rape survivors do not tell anyone and 90 percent never report it to the police. “Rape is a crime of the heart for the the victim and a crime of convenience for the perpetrator,” she added. “I have recovered—with a lot of faith, my husband and a lot of therapy.”
“I thought it was powerful,” junior Mollie Lurey said. “It was a good way for students to get this information. I think they are more receptive to personal stories and this will help people in the future.”
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