Senior Column: The magic 8 ball reveals what's special

What a long, strange trip it's been. College, that is. Jerry Garcia certainly said it best, but I still have one question left for his eternal spirit. What's going to happen next?

According to my parents, I'm going to the real world. But I don't know what that is. All year long the Career Center has been preaching about this mystical destination that I will soon arrive at. Sometimes they say the real world is scary. Sometimes they say it is exhilarating.

That's interesting. Sounds eerily similar to the first time I... well you have a creative imagination, right?

Whatever words the Career Center or parental units chose to describe this real word, they made sure that I understood one thing. It won't be college anymore. Thanks for the update guys, really.

Well, at the very least I can look into my magical 8 ball and find out what my fellow colleagues will be doing in the near future. Here's what the enchanted pool ball forecasts....

8 Ball: This summer the graduating seniors will fill a host of positions in the real world. The companies that employ them will be focused on profit margins and competing with other firms in the industry. There will be little room for failure, and even less toleration for a disappointing finish.

Sounds like a bummer, man.

GG: So mystical 8 ball, what happened to all the courses that I used to take about the history of jazz or leisure in modern Europe?

8 Ball: Those courses have no use in the real world. Their relevance does not pervade the corporate society that runs our country. Learning about bohemians in Parisian culture will not help any firm increase its profits, and therefore has no place in the real world.

Wow, this little black ball is dishing it out today. I've had just about enough. Wait, it has one last piece of advice.

8 Ball: Don't fret, young man, the future holds many treasures that you will open.

Thanks for being as vague as possible with that one.

Now I guess I have to synthesize all this magical 8 ball knowledge and figure out what exactly I'm going to do next year in this real world.

First of all, I have to realize that some topics which have captivated my mind during the past four years will suddenly become obsolete in this real world. When I studied Greek civilization, I had a genuine interest to investigate further into the subject. In the real world, the study of such a random topic would not be relevant. At least, that's what my black ball of fun tells me.

Since work in the real world sounds fairly dull, let's focus on something a bit more exciting. How about sports?

I remember when I used to walk a mere 100 yards to one of the most historic sports venues in the world. And after the short journey I was privileged enough to watch the Blue Devils and Tar Heels renew the fiercest rivalry in collegiate athletics--four times. Next year, I'll probably walk 10 feet to watch the game on ESPN before muting Dukie Vitale for the entire 40 minutes.

No more will I stroll over to Koskinen Stadium for a soccer or lacrosse match between two squads who are playing for nothing more than glory. In the real world I'll probably go downtown and pay $20 for nosebleed seats at an NBA game when half the players on the court don't give a damn during the regular season. It sure seems like this real world does ruin everything.

What about the atmosphere which has surrounded so many memorable sporting events at Duke? Magical 8 ball, can that be matched in this real world?

8 Ball: That's a negative ghostrider, all patterns are full.

Shootin' me down every time. Well let's recap one of these moments, just for old-times sake.

August 31, 2002. The Duke Football team has managed to reel off 23 straight losses spanning three seasons. I was a junior at the time and had not seen my football team win a single game (think about that freshman).

Fortunately for Duke the rain pours all game long and the sloppy conditions resemble an old-school backyard brawl. Somehow, just somehow, the Blue Devils pull out a 23-16 victory and the entire rain-drenched fan base rushes the field in pure glory. The players and students celebrate in ecstasy. Goalpost--torn down. The streak--over.

Now imagine for a moment if your favorite NFL team loses 23 straight. Would you even care anymore? All the fans become critics and slowly wash away with the losses. The proud may stick around for a bit, but the celebration after that first victory would not even compare to Wallace Wade Stadium on that fateful Saturday night.

Those were the days, huh? I guess all this talk about Duke makes the real world seem pretty depressing. The 8 ball did say something about treasure in the future. But what will I do until then?

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