After wildly unsuccessful CD releases by Macho Man Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan and the Wrestling Boot Band, hillbilly wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin and apparent elfin cookie heiress/WWE diva Stacy Keibler couldn't help but get in on the act. World Wrestling Entertainment, the guilty pleasure our generation knew as the WWF, has released an album that has--remarkably--exceeded the badness of the wrestling itself. This album is, in a word, awful.
Strong Bad look-alike Rey Mysterio's autobiographical Spanglish contribution ("Crossing Borders") simultaneously motivates and nauseates. If this track alone does not catapult WWE Originals into an international bestseller, well, Recess will not be the least bit surprised. Gluteally gifted wrestler Rikishi's heartfelt ballad ("Put A Little Ass On It") touches in places that are best left off limits. It also furthers the suspicion that he may be the lovechild of "American Idol" champ Ruben Studdard and "South Park" casanova/mentor Chef.
In the album's tour de force ("We Lie, We Cheat, We Steal"), Eddie and Chavo (Charo's nephew?) Guerrero, accompanied by a mariachi that would have trouble getting a gig in an abandoned bodega, belt out an anthem best suited for POW interrogation.
If you shop now at wwe.com, you may also receive a bonus DVD with all the oiled-up, behind-the-scenes footage you'd care to watch along with a T-Shirt (XL only) to broadcast your impeccable taste in tunes.
Don't miss your chance to own the worst LP since Joey Lawrence's self-titled debut.
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