I think I speak for the majority of the civilized (ie, non-New York) world when I say:
Hallelujah!
The Yankees, who started ordering their World Series championship rings and tee-shirts the moment Aaron Boone's home run broke Red Sox fans' hearts, got their world shocked this weekend when the Florida Marlins--probably baseball's least-storied franchise this side of the Devil Rays--took 'em to town, in New York no less.
Let's hear it for the Fish! If we couldn't see a Cubs-Red Sox World Series, the next best thing was to see the Yankees get beat by a team George Steinbrenner probably thought was in Double-A when the season started (wait...it seems like half the Marlins were in Double-A when the season started).
How could you not enjoy watching a group of guys barely old enough to be out of Duke beat the big, bad Yankees? The Series MVP, Josh Beckett, is 23 years old, and wouldn't look too out of place walking around campus. Miguel Cabrera, who hit a crucial three-run home run off Roger Clemens, is 20, and wouldn't look too out of place walking around Durham Academy. I feel really old right now.
By toppling the Yanks, the Marlins ended an arduous six-year World Series drought with the second championship in their mostly pathetic 11-year existence. Let's put this in perspective: it's the same number of titles the Cubs have won in 101 years of play, and two more than the Red Sox have won since the Bambino left Beantown.
Seriously, how bitter are Red Sox and Cubs fans right now? (Yankee fans....shut up). The Marlins, who were on the hot seat for contraction a few years ago, have become the anti-Cubs. This franchise has made the postseason twice in its existence--both times as a wild card--and both times, it took home a title. Hell, the Marlins have only had two winning seasons in their existence, and they won the World Series both times!
After the Marlins' victory, it became clear that something strange is happening in baseball of late; the sport in which the rich are supposed to trounce the poor time after time--and in which Bud Selig cries bloody murder about competitive imbalance--has been doing its best NFL impression. The past three world champions don't exactly read like a who's who of Major League Baseball: Diamondbacks, Angels, and Marlins (oh my!). Only one of the past four teams to play in the World Series--this year's Yankees--was not a wild card.
All of which begs the question: how can people continue to whine about competitive imbalance and revenue sharing? Yes, the Yankees spend a gazillion dollars and buy every available player this side of Mars. Yes, the Marlins have considerably more trouble putting a championship team on the field. So what?! The Marlins, A's and Twins have proven that a small-market, low revenue team can compete with the Yankees of the world if the franchise is well-run. Likewise, the Mets and Orioles have shown that money can't buy you wins.
Anyway, enough with the rambling, it's time for my postseason awards:
Most Obnoxious/Overrated: Derek Jeter
Good lord, do the Fox TV executives MAKE Jeter to do his little fist-pump? You know the one I'm talking about. One of these days Jeter's going to strain a wrist pumping his fist and clapping his hands too much. Also, a much-needed Special Service Announcement: Jeter's hitting .302 lifetime in the World Series. That's all well and good, but his career average is .317. Obviously, you face tougher pitching in the World Series, and I'm not saying this guy isn't good in October. I'm just saying that the general perception that he morphs into Superman when the playoffs roll around makes me run for the can. Look at the numbers. It's not true.
Most unfairly criticized/cursed: Steve Bartman
If you were in Tahiti and don't know by now, he's the Cubs fan who unintentionally kept Moises Alou from making a crucial catch in foul territory late in Game 6. I feel so bad for this guy; if the Cubs had come back to win Game 7, Bartman's name would've been forgotten by November, but as it is, it's not hard to see him having his home toilet-papered for the next 73 years if he doesn't evacuate the state.
I love the fact that every single fan sitting near Bartman was reaching for the ball as well, but just happened not to touch it. I'm sure every single one of them went home and told all their friends and family about sitting right next to the #$%$# who cost them the game. Why doesn't anyone blame the players--there's a novel idea--who handed the Marlins the game by booting a routine grounder (Alex Gonzalez) and grooving fastballs down the middle of the plate (Kyle Farnsworth)?
If you're particularly set on blaming someone for cursing the Cubs, how about Bernie Mac? The actor/comedian led a Wrigley Field crowd seemingly minutes away from celebrating the National League pennant through "Take me out to the ballgame," and actually had the gall to exhort the fans to "root, root, root for the champions." One inning later, the Cubs' lead was long gone.
- Most fairly criticized/cursed: Grady Little
Hasta la vista, Grady!
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Least welcome in the Boston metropolitan area in the 21st century: Aaron Boone
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Most likely to actually be a caveman: Johnny Damon
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Smallest head on the planet: Juan Pierre
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Most likely to appear on celebrity wrestling/Least likely to appear on the cover of GQ: Don Zimmer
Ted Mann is a Trinity senior and a senior associate sports editor. His column appears tri-weekly in The Chronicle.
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