Blazin' A New Trail

Not just the doped-up goofball we remember from Half Baked and Saturday Night Live, Jim Breuer is on the road right now--with his kids, no less--on a stand-up comedy tour of the nation. Thanks to the On-Stage Committee of the Duke University Union, he'll be rolling into Page Auditorium Monday at 8 p.m., and Editor Greg Veis got the opportunity to toke a few with him a bit beforehand.

So where are you tonight?

I'm in Nashville, my kids are in the hallway, I got a wet shower-head, and I'm getting ready to do a show.

What's your pre-show ritual?

Well, I meditate first--I just sit there and lay down and almost pass out for 20 minutes. Then, I grab a cup of coffee, really think about what I'm gonna say, and then I just blast System of a Down.

I know after Half Baked there was a lot of Oscar buzz about you getting a Best Supporting Actor nomination. How did you take it when it didn't come?

I got relaxed. Baked it off.

Honestly, what've you been up to the last couple years?

Started a family, went on tour, made a record and two DVDs, and now I'm going to go back into TV.

What're you doing for TV?

I'm doing a pilot for a sketch show on Comedy Central, and we start filming in January. It's kind of going to be like The Jim Breuer Show that used to be on MTV, except with a little more of a theatrical setting. But definitely that raw still. Until then though, I'm happy doing stand-up.

When we check out your routine Monday, what should we expect?

Some of the old stuff--your Goat Boy, your Joe Pesci, your Half Baked stuff. But most of the sh--t is brand new-characters, storytelling, some behind-the-scenes s--t from SNL.

There seems to be this tell-all mentality about SNL since the new expose book on the show came out.

Yeah, I don't get that kooky. I never bring up dirt, but stuff that people would want to hear.

Is Will Ferrel a bitch?

Lots of people ask me that. You mean "bitch" as in he takes it?

No man, I mean is he an a--hole?

He's the furthest thing from it. Man, he's the best.

If you could estimate, what percentage of your lifetime would you say you've been high?

You know, I didn't start smoking pot until I was 18. And I did it a whole lot after that, but I just couldn't afford it. Overall, I'd have to say a smaller amount than you would imagine.

So, it's just for show?

No! I do it, but I don't f--king wake up, get high, eat some eggs, get high, philosophize by a tree, get high. I've got too much to do.

Have you changed your comedic style at all since you've had kids?

Not my style, man--just my material. At different times of my life, I talk about different childhood stories, different things on my mind--war, life, country, pot, my kids.

Ok, let's try something else. I give you a word or a phrase and you give me the first thing that pops into your head. U.N. Resolutions.

Chicken.

Cheeba.

Chicken.

Woody Harrelson.

CHICKEN.

Stand-up comedy.

Love.

Before we go, is there anything you'd like to tell Duke?

Yeah, man. Keep your hammers dry.

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