Calendar

Arts

For those of you interested in "culture" and "the Bard" and "boredom," the NC Shakespeare Festival starts in mid-August at the High Point Theatre. The first performance is of Shakey's supposedly funny Much Ado About Nothing. My suggestion: Billy Boy should see high comedy like Little Nicky before writing his next snoozer. Aug. 16-17 and 30 at 8 p.m. $16 for students. 1014 Mill Ave., High Point.

Music

Trust me: This is the best $20 you'll ever spend (unless you find a sweet honey in TJ). Aug. 6, ALLTEL Pavilion, David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar. Imagine the possibilities--Roth's leather a-- pants could catch aflame, Hagar could spontaneously combust. There just hasn't been a better duo since... well, never. Show starts at 7 p.m. 3801 Rock Quarry, Raleigh.

Sonic Youth definitely ain't young, but they're still pretty damn cool. If you go to the show, make sure you don't pass gas. Fellow attendees tend to frown upon that. Trust me. Flatulation discouraged at the Ritz on 2820 Industrial Dr. Raleigh. $18 in advance, and doors open at 7 p.m. Aug. 7.

Formerly of The Replacements (read: the 1980s' better version of Weezer), Paul Westerberg is presently of himself. Aug. 15, he'll be performing solo with a guitar and a bottle of vaseline. My aunt says it's truly a sight to behold. Catch him at the Cat's Cradle, 300 E Main St., Carrboro. $20 if you buy tix in advance.

Film

The North Carolina Gay and Lesbian Film Festival is coming to the Carolina Theatre from Aug. 8-11. The four-day partay will include around 50 short films exploring the homosexual lifestyle. The winner for the best synopsis goes to Baking with Butch: Episode 1-- "It's Julia Child on steroids in this dyke twist on cooking shows." 309 W Morgan St., Durham.

8/2: Signs (M. Night Shyamalan directs), The Master of Disguise (starring Garth, the Church Lady and George H.W. Bush)