Better than Hockey

And you thought it was too cold to have sex in Canada.

Well, you obviously haven't seen The Sunday Night Sex Show on the Oxygen Channel. It's wet, it's wild, and until now, it was my secret obsession.

For all of its delicious perversity, how could it not be?

Sue Johanson, the show's host, is an old crank who spends an entire hour instructing hockey-mad Canucks on how to insert a dildo. Wayne Gretzky's never done that.

In all fairness, Johanson is legit: She's been hosting this show on radio since the mid-'80s and has written three sex advice books. For as many odd questions as she gets about girls whose boyfriends want them to incorporate midgets in the bedroom, she receives just as many questions about STDs, relationships and even domestic abuse.

But what really grabs are her graphic descriptions of how to reach the G-spot. In case you were wondering, Grandma Pervert suggests the two-finger technique.

In a classic moment last week, Johanson pulled out a female pleasuring device and yelped in glee: "Oooh, now this looks like fun!"

I know, you're thinking I've got some sort of creepy grandma fetish. But once you get past the old-people-having-sex part and the Canadian part, it's kinda kinky.