South of the Border

For this spring break, I told the travel agent I wanted to go "south of the border" - for sun, sangria, and a plethora of "Pedros" (if you know what I mean). She booked my request, I boarded the plane... and found myself, not in Cancun or Cabo, but in Dillon, South Carolina. An honest mistake, but it turns out "South of the Border" ended up being the crazy spring break all college coeds can hope for. I now understand why this little gem off I-95 is considered the greatest vacation destination on the East Coast--it was a non-stop party!

11:10 AM Saturday: After seeing a grand total of 3,528 billboards, we are definitely excited--will SOB (as the "insiders" call it) live up to its hype? A 97-foot statue of Pedro (SOB's mascot) straddles the entranceway--not even noon on the first day and we've all gotten to ride between a local's legs! Best spring break EVER!

3:30 PM Sunday: We start cruising the scene, checking out all the hotties at the gift shops. Some ignoramuses may call stores like "Mexico Shop East," "Mexico Shop West" and "Pedro's African Shop" tourists traps, but where else can you find glow-in-the-dark back-scratchers or "vintage" fringed t-shirts? We stock up on hula skirts and mini-light visors for a big night out.

10:40 PM Tuesday: This place is rockin'! After getting wasted on warm beer at Pedro's Casateria, we head back to the hotel with our male companions. They may have mullets, but hey--Coastal Carolina University's a pretty decent school. (Right?) The RV park was full that night (special spring break rates!) so we check in to the only vacant motel: Pedro's Pleasure Dome. The name says it all--especially with the jacuzzi and steam room. Hot!

1:30 AM Wednesday: In an intoxicated turn of events, Mr. Mullet #1 has proposed to my friend on the top of the Sombrero tower. Luckily, the Pleasure Dome houses a wedding chapel and a special honeymoon package complete with waterbed and continental breakfast, but instead, we whisk her away for a midnight miniature golf game. A close call.

Best Place to Hook-Up: On top of the Sombrero Tower, with breathtaking views of I-95

Best Bargain: Tie: The $99 Wedding Package or the $ .99 camouflage condom

Best Bar: Good Time Charlie's