The King of All Media?

Short-sighted pundits have called Shaquille O'Neal the greatest basketball player of all time, but it's the big-boned baller's activities off the court that really set him apart. Most current and former big-ego basketball stars have extracurricular projects, from endorsing shoes to running mediocre restaurants in Chapel Hill. But the oafish offensive machine has surpassed them all, with entertainment projects ranging from video games (Shaq-Fu) to albums (three, plus a greatest hits) to movies.

And unlike his basketball, public opinion of Shaq's entertainment ventures ranges from middling to downright nasty. One reader review on the Internet Movie Database called 1996's Kazaam "not even entertaining on a stupid level," while an angry parent implored of the site: "Please, I beg of you, don't subject them to this. Zero is too high of a rating for this, I can't rate it." Perhaps the Washington Post summed it up best: "In essence, crow the critics, he's a terrible actor."

Shaq's hip-hop efforts haven't fared much better. His debut album pulls an abysmal 2-star rating out of allmusic.com, though Britain's famed weekly NME called it "splendid." We're not really sure what to make of that, frankly, though, given the number of decent British hip-hop records (near zero) we're not sure the redcoats are the best judges.

One thing's for sure: Shaq may not have an equal on the court, but his lyrical stylings stack up well against some other famous rappers. Try your hand at the Recess Shaqtastic Rapper Matching Game:

Really yo you'd better ask MC Hammer 'bout this bad mama jama /

Tall kid with the hoopa hypa lipta-gramma / watch out yo it's time for MC bashin'

Cuz I'm a one-man band and you are my fan / Don't you understand? I'm like Superman

Yeah, the Man of Steel, don't you know the deal? / You better be for real, I got sex appeal

Slow like your feet stuck to the floor / Big boned, too fat to fit through the door

Call yourself an MC? / We just can't take it no more

-By Jonas Blank