Bye bye, Billy

Attention performers: Recess can make or break you. It took us just one story to end Kathie Lee Gifford's talk-show career, and one cover photo to propel Genghis Blues to Oscar contention. Despite our relentless disdain, though, Billy Corgan has proven more resilient-he resisted our barbs for three months before running up the white flag. According to a recent Corgan interview, The Smashing Pumpkins will cease to be at the end of this year. Here's what the chrome-domed crooner had to say in a letter obtained in dubious circumstances by Jonas Blank:

Dear Recess:

I don't know what the f!@# the deal is with your magazine, but you've outraged me to the point that I'm calling it quits. A few months ago, you ran a piece entitled "Back in the '90s," which reviewed the new record by my band, The Smashing Pumpkins. In your article, you described my brilliant masterpiece Machina/The Machines of God as "the worst Smashing Pumpkins album" and referred to the band as "Bald Billy and the pugnacious Pumpkins." Of my vocals, you said, "Billy Corgan's voice has never been good-he sounds like a transvestite prostitute trapped in a forest fire," and called the songs "hookless screeds." You called our music "post-grunge, pre-Backstreet alternarock" that reminds you of "the hair metal of the late '80s."

If that wasn't bad enough, an earlier article about the long wait for tickets to our club tour noted that "for the chance to see a whiny, screaming man that looks that much like Sinead O'Connor, it's worth it." The abuse I've taken in this magazine is more than I can bear.

The Smashing Pumpkins are The Greatest Rock 'N' Roll Band in America. Being compared to a cross-dressing hooker was the single greatest insult to my talent that I have ever read. Our music is innovative and edgy-apparently you just don't understand it. How could anyone but an idiot not appreciate the contextual metaphysical meaning of a song like "The Crying Tree of Mercury" or "I of the Mourning?"

But apparently it's not just Recess that's too shallow to understand my music-it's all hearing people in the general public. I announced on SonicNet.com last week that we are calling it quits.

As I said in our announcement, the way the culture is and stuff, it's hard to keep trying to fight the good fight against the Britneys. Between Spears and Recess, I've had enough. So this is sayonara, kids-you won't have Corgan to kick around anymore.

Love,