A softer touch to K-ville

A couple of weeks ago, while in K-ville, my friends informed me of something amazing-there's Internet access in the lampposts. Evidently everyone else already knows this, but somehow I missed this piece of knowledge. I guess now those who tent for basketball games can bring their computers along, plug into a lamppost and they won't even have to miss an e-mail. Ah, all the amenities of home. What will they think of next?

Perhaps the University's first eatery in a tent! K-ville has the basic needs covered-shelter and Internet access. But what about food? How's a tenter to eat? Since there are Alpine eateries all over campus, it seems like this would be the perfect opportunity to add one more. It could be called "Alpine Under the Awning." Diehard fans would no longer suffer without their daily bagel, and Duke's first canvas eatery would be born.

Some will complain that new options such as these make tenters soft. "But you're taking all of the suffering out of tenting. Whatever happened to cold, wet weeks with nothing to do but actually read all of the documents assigned in your classes?" they will say.

Never fear. In keeping with the spirit of Krzyzewskiville as a place where only the most spirited and hardy souls persevere for the best seats, the new Alpine branch would not sell its entire line of products. The sandwiches would all be on day-old bagels, and there would be no freshly squeezed orange juice. Hey, camping out is tough.

With permanent e-mail access available in Krzyzewskiville, perhaps more computer access is not far away. Nobody wants to see students' academic efforts slide because of dedication to the team, so what about a "Perkins" tent with a printer to print e-reserves? It goes without saying that in the pioneering spirit of K-ville, the printer would be an old one. There would be no e-reserve printing in under five minutes. A K-ville e-reserve station would take at least 30 minutes to print an article-just like the old days.

When looking at Krzyzewskiville, it's a little funny that the same people who complain about being "forced" to live in Trent Dormitory (a horrible yet heated building with bus service and a built-in restaurant and gym) will gladly move into a damp, unheated tent in K-ville for weeks on end. I guess that it's all about motivation... or maybe it's really about Main West Campus housing. Has anyone ever done a demographic breakdown of the tenters? How many of them live in Trent? Maybe K-ville isn't about school spirit after all! Maybe it is a refugee camp for students from Trent who want to live on Main West. Not all that likely, but someone should check it out. In any event, the administration should note the willingness students have to happily live in substandard structures. It might provide a solution to future housing problems. Thirty years from now, our offspring who attend Duke may live in Krzyzewski Residence Hall, the first canvas dormitory in the nation.

What else might the future hold for Krzyzewskiville? Well, speaking of housing solutions-and the parking spaces that are going to vanish soon on West Campus-future tenters might not camp out in tents at all. They may wait out long weeks in K-ville in their cars. I don't know what we'd do when tent 55 had to make a quick run to the store, but at least it would be warmer!

Trinity senior Heather Morris is camping out for tonight's women's game.