If the Duke sports scene was a trip to see the doctor, then most people would describe the fall season as the waiting room. You simply read a couple of magazines until you get to finally see the person that you really want to see. And in Duke sports, the doctor is men's basketball.
Let's be honest, men's basketball is the money-making king of campus. It is how many students became interested in the school. It sets Duke apart from the Ivies. It is probably one of the reasons many chose to attend this university. Like it or not, the two back to back national championships did more to increase the school's recognizability than any academic achievement. But before you start agreeing with me as if I were some kind doctor who actually knows something useful and dismiss Duke's fall sports as being as meaningless as a three-month-old issue of USA Today, hear this:
Duke's fall sports do indeed have something to offer even the casual sports fan. Yes, there will be no Dick Vitales, no tents and no Crazy Towel Guy (freshmen, CTG is simply that-a crazed dude who constantly waves a towel-and you thought Duke was going to be hard). As a recent graduate, I have taken it upon myself to give you the inside stuff that the Duke publicity gurus don't release. Remember, these are the same geniuses that came up with the name "Duke Soccer Stadium" for the soccer field. So without further space-filling drivel, here it is: "The Chronicle Insider's Guide to Fall's Non-revenue Sports."
Football: Most people in the country consider football to be a revenue sport, but here at Duke, things are a little bit different. I honestly don't know if football made or lost money last year, but if they did end up in the black, I want Coach Goldsmith to replace Alan Greenspan. If Freddie can make dough on an 0-11 team, then he can make the Dow hit 16,000 by the end of the week.
Actually, the best thing about Duke football games is access. No campouts required and plenty of good seating is always available, even if you arrive in the second half. Oh, yeah, I almost forgot-the press box has killer lasagna, green beans and sundaes. (0-11 is hard even for a Public Policy major to spin into something positive).
Men's Soccer: This might be the most closely followed fall sport on campus. The games are packed. The Atlantic Coast Conference is the best conference in the country, and Duke is usually a contender for the ACC title, so the competition is fierce. But most "soccer fans" couldn't care less about that. They attend the games because it's the social thing to do.
With the ban of kegs three years ago, men's soccer games have served as the substitute for huge open fraternity parties. And some of the players have reached near-pop icon status, such as Jay Heaps. After scoring two goals in the final 91 [although that number shrinks every time I hear the story] seconds of overtime against No. 1 UVa as a freshman, Heaps now has his own fan club that yells, "Heaps!" every time he heads a ball. Personally, I liked the games because I was always curious to see which senior head coach John Rennie had cut.
Volleyball: The best fall sport to watch as a fan. The women (Duke doesn't have a men's team) play in Cameron. Actually, any sport would be cool in Cameron, but in volleyball the crowd can really be a factor. When a fifth game in a match rolls around with its quicker scoring system, even apathetic fans rise to their feet in hopes of seeing someone get hit in the face with a ball.
Women's Soccer: A perennial powerhouse in a sport where North Carolina never lost until three years ago, when Duke finally beat those !@#$%&. (Freshmen: We hate UNC; if you don't as well, then you can leave Duke and go attend a school whose most distinguishing landmark is a well-yes, an underground one). Even if you hate soccer, go to the Duke-UNC game; it will be worth it.
The women's soccer team also features one of the school's most colorful coaching personalities. Head coach Bill Hempen is the only coach who has his own fan club (not including Coach K's Nike-owned web site). Members of the men's soccer team will frequently advise Billy on his strategy during the game. I always liked Bill because he tells it like it is, and he never dodges a question unless it is stupid, and then he just makes fun of you.
Meanwhile, assistant coach Carla Overbeck moonlights as the captain of the gold-medal U.S. women's national team. We still like Carla even though she is a UNC grad.
Field Hockey: The weirdest sport of all. Where else can you find a sport with more whistles than the Andy Griffith show? Every five steps, the ref blows her whistle while the athletes, coaches and fans (parents) don't think that anything is awry. And where else can you find a sport that didn't give the second-leading goal-scorer in the country All-America honors because her paperwork wasn't processed on time?
Furthermore, head coach Liz Tchou had an outstanding rookie campaign last year, led by two-time All-America Melissa Panasci (all things come in time). But the honeymoon is over, Tchou.
If you came to Duke to simply study and watch basketball, you are not alone. But if you have some time, check out a non-revenue sport. And if you really like them, start writing sports for The Chronicle. I hear there is an opening for someone willing to write stories no one reads and also thinks that he is really funny. So apply early-competition is intense. And if you believe that, freshmen, then maybe Duke isn't the right place for you after all.
Brandon Ehrhart, Trinity '97, was an associate sports editor of The Chronicle. With the graduation of Greg Newton and Ben Mulroney, he would like to congratulate tennis star Vanessa Webb on her new status of BCOC (Big Canadian On Campus). V. Webb is also a pop icon with the sports staff for her refusal to read anything written about her, a practice that every sports staffer also follows.
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