Growing pains

I sort of stumbled into becoming news editor of The Chronicle.

Last April, The Chronicle found itself without a news editor for the upcoming year. Our editor-in-chief, who I had met only once before, texted me asking whether I would consider filling the position, one that I had not applied for and was not particularly interested in taking. I had very little editing experience. I had not written extensively since freshman year. And, truth be told, I was not eager to devote eight hours a night toiling away in the office and deleting Oxford commas.

But I also knew that The Chronicle needed a news editor to function, someone to carry nights of production and run meetings and help the editor-in-chief from feeling too overwhelmed. So I agreed to fill the role—for at least part of the year—and we managed to cobble together a team of three or four editors that has done some really great work. It has been an incredibly instructive and entertaining experience from start to finish, but it has also been a humbling one.

I have made mistakes as news editor, and we have made mistakes as an organization. I have made mistakes that have hurt people. I have allowed private details about individuals to be published despite not having their full consent. I have prioritized conforming to style guidelines ahead of basic empathy. These mistakes have sometimes occurred out of ignorance, but more often than not stem at least in part from defensiveness and an unwillingness to admit when we are wrong.

The Chronicle faces criticism from all sides. It is all too easy for us to sit there in 301 Flowers, towering above the rest of campus, and dismiss our critics. Some of us put in upwards of 40 hours a week in that office, scrutinizing every word in every story and striving to ensure fairness and quality. When you invest that much of your time into producing something that gets attacked on a regular basis, it is only natural to become defensive.

The problem with being defensive—of feeling that the hours you spent always justify the decisions you’ve made—is that it necessarily requires you to close yourself off. In boxing, you keep your hands up to prevent blows to your head or body. That’s the goal—protect yourself and defeat your opponent. But the purpose of journalism is not to oppose, and it is not to defeat. It is to present as clear and as unbiased a picture the truth as possible. When we keep our hands up, all we are doing is diminishing our reach, blocking our line of sight, and making our arms tired. Being defensive serves only to prevent us from moving forward.

We should welcome criticism. It can hurt, no question. But when we make mistakes, we need to be held accountable. And we need to do everything in our power to avoid making them again. That means keeping an open mind and continually thinking about how we can grow and improve, as an organization and as people.

On that note, personal growth is something that has weighed heavily on my mind as graduation draws near. In some ways, college is a time to become the person you were meant to be, but in other ways, it is only a very tiny first step in that direction.

While I was here, I found that my goals and priorities often aligned with things that we think of as quintessentially Duke—achieving good grades, getting into selective programs, earning leadership positions. I came to measure the passing of time by holiday breaks and application deadlines and due dates. This meant that when it came to the stuff that isn’t measured by a number, or that can’t be reduced to a line on a resume, I started to fall behind.

Examples: I created a huge list of books I wanted to read, and I barely made any headway on it. I wanted to learn sign language, and after two years of occasional practice I still don’t know more than a few dozen signs. I wanted to get really good at basketball, but instead I am projected to go undrafted in this year’s NBA draft.

So I want to finish this column with a few pieces of advice about growth. I love giving advice, it’s one of my top two hobbies along with eating at Grace’s. It is advice that is based on mistakes I have made, that comes from four years of doubt and uncertainty and occasional stagnation.

We often think of Duke as this self-contained experience that starts on East Campus, detours to Central Campus or some foreign country, and ends four years later on West Campus. But here’s the thing: that’s not Duke. That’s the CCX bus route. Being a student is only one aspect of our identities, and it would be a shame for it to be the only one.

Don’t put off growth. Don’t stagnate. Each day, each new place you go, each interaction you have is a chance to be the person that you want to be. Set goals and work to achieve them even when they don’t seem important, even when you have a paper or a problem set due the next day, or when you feel a little aimless. Let criticism into your life and embrace it. And don’t be afraid to stumble. Sometimes you will stumble into something new and wonderful and challenging, and you will walk away better than before and ready for the next one.

Ryan Zhang is a Trinity senior and co-news editor of The Chronicle. He is very thankful for Amrith, Rachel, Gautam, Steph and everyone who, when he was in danger of sinking, kept him afloat. He is also tremendously proud of the rising seniors, juniors and sophomores, and cannot wait to see what they have in store for the future.

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