Love thy UNC neighbor

About one year ago today, I was watching the Duke-UNC game in a UNC common room. I had carefully selected my outfit, which included my most neutral blue shirt and a pair of Duke socks hidden under my boots. But during the game I found there was little I could do to conceal my true nature, since I could not stop myself from cheering every time Duke scored. Despite my Carolina friends’ efforts to quiet me down, it soon became obvious to everyone that there was a Blue Devil amidst the sea of light blue. My cover was blown.

With several Duke alumni family members, I learned from a young age to despise the Tar Heels. Although UNC fit my ideal college criteria, I decided not to apply because I couldn’t betray my roots. Perhaps fittingly, receiving a Robertson Scholarship at Duke, my dream school, meant that last year I had to retire my Blue Devil apparel and replace it with Carolina gear while living among the hereditary enemy for a semester.

Although I am no Cameron Crazie, watching the game at UNC last year taught me that despite my best efforts to remain neutral, I am inevitably biased when it comes to basketball. Cheering for Duke is a reflex that comes from being raised by Duke alumni. Basketball rivalry aside, my feelings about UNC are not what they once were. Now that I’m back at Duke, I guard a secret in the same way that I hid my Duke Card while living at UNC. And that secret is that I love UNC.

I should know better than to make such provocative statements during basketball season, but this season is different. At a time when emotions are still raw after the killing of three students in Chapel Hill, we should stand in solidarity with our baby blue brethren. Vigils last week at UNC and NC State attended by people from all over the Triangle stand testament to our collective strength when we unite for a common cause. Why not strengthen our relationships with our neighbors so that we can displace hatred and spread love together?

This year I will not buy into the rivalry. You won’t hear me chanting GTHC because I wish to respect a community in mourning, a community that is near to my heart. While rivalries arise naturally from competition, the negativity fostered by the Duke-UNC rivalry is harmful. After the game last year, I went to Franklin Street to watch Chapel Hill celebrate their win against Duke. I saw students gathered around bonfires in the street, chanting “F*** Duke” and “Go to hell Duke!” Hearing these slurs, I felt uncomfortable and even unsafe, worried what might happen if the mob learned of an undercover Blue Devil in the crowd.

The following day I listened to comedian and UNC alumnus Lewis Black say that he hates Duke so much that it makes him equally happy to see Duke lose as it makes him happy to watch Carolina win. Black’s mindset, I realized, explained the hostility I had experienced the night before. Like the anti-Tar Heel feelings I inherited from my upbringing, many Carolina students are raised to dislike Duke and derive pleasure from seeing Duke lose. We Blue Devils reciprocate by screaming GTHC, burning benches and eventually perpetuate the cycle by teaching our children to despise UNC, at least during basketball games. At some point, we stop cheering for our team, and start cheering against our rivals. We divide ourselves into “us” and “them,” which limits our ability to unite for a shared purpose.

But if the rivalry is something that is taught, then it can also be unlearned. Loving our neighbors begins with getting to know them. Although hundreds of students are willing to live in tents every winter to see the Duke-UNC game in Cameron, only a small fraction are willing to take the 30-minute bus ride to see UNC with their own eyes. Yet if students took advantage of the Go Passes Duke gives them for free and ride the Robertson Express to Chapel Hill on a nice day, they might find that UNC is more than our basketball rival school.

On a beautiful day, UNC students sit on the quad, chatting, sunbathing, and playing Frisbee. On weekends and game days, families wander around campus, taking photos by the Old Well and picnicking on the lawn. UNC’s Memorial Hall offers affordable tickets to see performers from all over the world, DSI Comedy Theater on Franklin Street hosts free comedy shows almost every night, and Battle Park is home to of the most beautiful running trails in the area.