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Sexy, Shirtless and Stupid

(10/10/02 4:00am)

Faster than a speeding bullet! Able to deflect heat-seeking missiles with a frying pan! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's--who the hell is he, anyway? He's Jason Statham, whom you may remember from 2001's Snatch, stars as the "transporter," a flimsy cutout of an action hero with an agenda as fascinating as his adopted alias. Yup, you got it: He, uh, transports things. And kicks some ass. He's bigger than Bond, balder than Bruce and badder than Bugs Bunny. About as dumb, too. Holy hair plugs, Batman! This superhero sucks!


Picture Perfect in a Suburban Hell

(09/19/02 4:00am)

This is middle-America as One Hour Photo director Mark Romanek sees it: a sprawling wasteland of green lawns and tidy streets, where planned-communities and strip-malled homogenization speak not only of prosperity, but also of quiet desperation. This is Wal-Mart culture at its most efficient, channeling our frenzied rat-race scamperings into a soothing, categorized existence of bright lights and straight aisles. We bring our infections, our insecurities and our secrets to these 24-hour temples, wallow in anonymity, then purchase a quick fix and a smile. If something isn't for sale, you probably didn't need it in the first place.


Disney's magic carpet ride

(07/31/02 4:00am)

We are the Disney generation. Weaned on the classics and spoon-fed the spinoffs, we lived and died by the annual summer injection of fresh animania. We knew the songs, we loved the characters, and for a few golden, glorious years, Disney was King. Roundabout the birth of Pocahontas, something went wrong; Disney hit a slump. Did we grow up? Or did Disney change? A little of both, it seems. Disney is for kids, and it made the mistake of trying to grow up with its audience.


Disney's magic carpet ride

(07/24/02 4:00am)

We are the Disney generation. Weaned on the classics and spoon-fed the spinoffs, we lived and died by the annual summer injection of fresh animania. We knew the songs, we loved the characters, and for a few golden, glorious years, Disney was King. Roundabout the birth of Pocahontas, something went wrong; Disney hit a slump. Did we grow up? Or did Disney change? A little of both, it seems. Disney is for kids, and it made the mistake of trying to grow up with its audience.


Nothing to Fear

(06/06/02 4:00am)

He's a nice guy, an average guy, a guy just like you. But better. He's Jack Ryan, perennial do-gooder and unintentional American hero extraordinaire, preserving your right to freedom. In The Sum of All Fears, the fourth film adaptation to date of a Tom Clancy novel, Ben Affleck stars as Ryan's third cinematic incarnation, following Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford and surpassing both in good old-fashioned aesthetic appeal.