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(01/12/17 6:52am)
Is it not the case that reflection of one’s actions is prompted only when you are on the receiving end of said actions? In my case, I am eluding to the concept of ghosting. Rather, the passive aggressive art form of deleting someone or something from your life. In other terms, the active avoidance of another, a group, or scenario that causes you great discomfort. This futile and exhausting attempt is a painful experience for both the ghoster and the ghosted. It wasn’t until recently—when I was ghosted myself—that I had to reconsider the repercussions of my own avoidant behaviors.
(04/30/16 9:43pm)
It’s taken me 22 years of life experiences to come to this conclusion, so here it goes. We all want pretty similar things.
(04/14/16 6:30am)
A silent contract was made when I reached the age of attempting adulthood. I would not smoke. I would take part in our democratic system with my vote. I would not adopt any more pets for the time being, and a tattoo was to only appear on my skin if it represented something I knew to be true. All these have stayed true, except the pet one. I have since adopted a bunny, a cat and a guinea pig named Gus since the enactment of said contract.
(03/31/16 5:35am)
What is most heart breaking is not necessarily an event that takes place during real-time. More often than not, it is the thoughts associated with such events that hurt the worst.
(03/03/16 5:40am)
A foreseeable closure is about the only time I become more intentional with my time, my energy and my actions. I am a perpetual procrastinator in all things inside and outside of the classroom. I operate under the belief that my time is unlimited; there is always tomorrow to do this, say that, or be what I actually want to be. This operating style is comfortable under the guise that the present is insignificant when compared to the fabulous future. A goal-oriented daydreamer of sorts, I am apathetic to the present moment and often check out of objective reality. With this, I set sights firmly on the future, where all great things are sure to begin. Until then, all doings, no matter how mundane or painful, are justified as necessary components leading to my future epic existence. My ability to turn on human-autopilot has operated to serve both long- and short-term goals. It has even aided in my futile romantic pursuits. This ability to depress my being and express my doing is maintained by a crippling fear of failure, an obsession with perceived perfection and a refusal to settle for just about everything. With this, I have achieved great success in all areas of being a human doing. My resume is stacked, my friends are great and my grades are good enough. On any given day, I average an hour of cardio on my favorite stationary machine, drink upwards of three cups of coffee, and maintain a high protein and low carbohydrate diet. I spend every waking hour doing, raised on the premise that free time is scheduled time. Regardless of what my peers, my loved ones or even my professors say, when all is said and done, I am completely convinced that I haven’t done a thing at all. Before I can accept feedback or acknowledge my substantial efforts, I am off to the next doing. This doing lifestyle has gotten me very far according to standards put fourth by individuals, groups and institutions I may or may never meet during my lifetime. My innate traits of competition, goal orientation and challenge have made this model of human doing very fitting. As a human doing, I have the capacity to shut feelings off early on in the game and keep an eye on the prize. Additionally, my relationships are often placed in distant futures so I never have to address the dynamics of my feeling heart. Being a human doing definitely has its perks when it comes to efficient goal achievement. Since doing is more attractive to me then being, there was no sign of letting go of this model until very recently. Without my consent and against my ego’s greatest wishes, I was reminded of my humanity and my unique sparkle. When my father passed away last semester, my underlying belief of time being infinite was brought to a halt. The large wall I had firmly built around my feeling heart was coming down, and I was becoming aware of the many pitfalls that came with being a human doing. I acknowledged I had missed many opportunities that would have fulfilled my heart. Unfortunately, my brain and my ego rationalized that my efforts were better spent elsewhere. Sidetracked by shiny labels and opportunities led me to procrastinate some of the deepest desires of my being. These distractors came in the form of prestigious this, or highly selective that, opportunities that only came once in a lifetime that I had to take because of their unattainable nature and my ability to attain them. However, is not every opportunity a once in a lifetime? Even if the opportunity lacks prestige, practicality and possibility, it can only be experienced once. I have done a lot of the same doings all very differently. Every moment from this one forward is once lifetime. Thus, I hope you chose your moments wisely.With the foreseeable closure of my undergraduate career, I have become more intentional with my time. Moving forward with this awareness has made me realize just how much finite time I have in fact wasted over the years. Countless hours I cannot get back were spent avoiding conflict, building contacts, dodging impending failures and attempting to appear perfect even when I was crumbling within. Being intentional with being in my life has been equally exhausting as doing. The key difference is that at the end of the day, I feel fulfilled instead of empty. I am as busy as I have ever been, yet I get more doing done that matters to my being, rather than feeding my ego that never quits. I look back and wish that I had pursued the dreams that I have kept for the privacy of my journal and my heart. To put off true desires, relationships and dreams for a future when all is figured out is a lie. Life will continue to add situations, people and opportunities that can make it even more difficult to achieve such dream. Time is finite and procrastinating life has only left me with regret and a broken feeling heart. I implore you to refer to your highest dreams and goals as guiding forces for your actions. Try expending your time and efforts in doings that are in line with your unique you and sparkle. Awaken to the brilliant concentration of people, opportunities and minds that surround you. Who knows, they might just help you achieve the dream you never let see daylight. Checking into your life instead of checking out of it might be the greatest adventure you have taken yet. The human-being side of my human doing has never led to unfulfilling adventures. On the other hand, the ego side of my human doing has sent me into countless draining pursuits that left me feeling like I did nothing at all.
(02/18/16 7:12am)
The greatest class I have ever taken during my undergraduate career is Failure. I have managed to fit it into my schedule every semester and it’s cross-listed under each department of study. The class begins and ends at undisclosed times and is made readily available everywhere you go. Failure is a non-selective course, open to any and all students willing to take it. The one pre-requisite for Failure is that you’re human. In Failure, students dive deep into their personal faux pas, defeats, missteps and total losses. They explore them from various angles, eventually arriving at the realization that failures aren’t mistakes to avoid after all. Rather, failures are painful and necessary lessons guiding students to their highest potential.
(02/04/16 3:32pm)
Happy almost Valentine’s Day, Duke humans.
(01/21/16 9:10am)
Happy springtime, Duke humans. It’s that time of year again: time to rush into your niche. Just that word, rush, does sound a bit overwhelming if you ask me. How about we use a different term to ease the tension? Can we call it fall into? Stumble upon? How about the social stroll? Better yet, collecting peers? Regardless, please go into this season maintaining the mindset that you belong here. Yes you. You were one of a billion applicants who received a non-rejection letter to Duke University. You are a unique, brilliant and interesting part of the Duke community, regardless of the box you find yourself part of by end of this RUSH.
