It’s taken me 22 years of life experiences to come to this conclusion, so here it goes. We all want pretty similar things.
To operate at our highest potential as a human-being, to contribute to something greater than ourselves, and to feel validated and loved by those we surround ourselves by. We want to matter. We want to know that our unique contribution to whatever environment we find ourselves in matters. If you uncover a lot of the motivations as to why you do those crazy things you do, you might just find one of the three above concepts operating.
That being said, none are achievable in isolation. We need one another. The introverts, the extroverts, and the middle-verts.
In line with Newton’s third law, for every human action, interaction, or lack thereof, there is an equal and opposite reaction. We need to embrace our unique nature as individuals and communities, recognizing that our words, our silence, our actions and our intentions are all impacting our community for better or for worse. How do you operate in your community? Self-promotion or collaboration?
Being the successful stud that you are, you may already be convinced of your self-sufficient powerhouse capabilities. However, just like the day you found out that Santa was a concept, I’m here to squash that Han Solo mentality as well. With or without your knowledge, there has been a human being behind the scenes or in front of your face helping you in some capacity. From the one who gave birth to you, the people who prepare food for your daily fuel, and the those who ensure that you have shelter to sleep in. Even those who have broken your heart and abandoned you, forced you to grow up or change course, contributing, though in a harsher way, to your current reality and your future.
That being said, you are not an individual creature operating in isolation. I encourage you to find a way to always collaborate with those around you. You may not like them. You may have no intention of giving them the time of day. However, recognize their presence and respect their shared humanity. You may learn some of your greatest lessons from the people and communities that you cannot wait to be relinquished from.
It takes a village to do just about everything. That I know to be true. Community can manifest itself in many forms. It can take shape as an athletic team, a social group, an academic club, or a job. You can even create your own community, pulling in the individual members from your environment that challenge you, keep you alive, make you laugh, and help you to achieve your greatest potential.
Your community can be large or small. It can have a strict code of conduct or it could allow for great freedom of expression. Your community can operate out of love or attempt to control its members by the use of fear. You may consider yourself part of no communities or you may have membership to about fifteen.
Instead of diving into the harmful or helpful dynamics of each community you find yourself part of, perhaps, it would be more useful to explore a communal lens.
I would argue that individual success and competition is trumped by collaboration. An individual success may take form as a line on your resume, a trophy from an athletic feat, or a prestigious title. However, even if such accolade was only awarded to you alone, it was not achieved merely by your own efforts. There were people, members of your community, who recognized a potential in you and helped you achieve such. Whether it be a coach, a teacher, a mentor, or a friend, someone cared enough about your well-being to ensure that you actualized that individual success.
During my time here at Duke, I have been part of many communities. From varsity athletics, scholar groups, social activism forums, publications, and everything in between. Each community equipped with a unique vibe, culture, and expectation of its constituents.
Through great and seemingly detrimental experiences in my varying communities, I have learned to recognize and develop my unique sense of self and contribution, to operate as Catherine within each.
Take the time to recognize what is unique about you and what it is that you bring to each community. By doing so, you will feel more fulfilled and validated instead of acting as a puppet under a subset of expectations. You will operate as you, instead of the label that you ultimately identify by.
What are the gifts or traits that make you come alive when you are able to express them or share them with other humans? I urge you not to relinquish all of your personal power and agency to a group of homogenous ideals and strict expectations. Do not lose sight of that unique sparkle that got you into such an institution to begin with.
As a graduating senior now, my dream is that the Duke community will connect members from all areas of campus life for authentic conversation, growth, connection, and community cohesion. I never want a member of Duke to ever feel isolated because of their social affiliation or lack thereof.
There have been times when I felt fully embraced and relevant on campus and others when I felt completely alone. To feel irrelevant and useless when you have so much to share is one of the worst feelings you can experience. Over the past four years, I can attest to the importance of being a part of a community, feeling validated, and recognizing that my unique contribution is worthwhile.
Duke attracts the absolute greatest students in our nation. We are considered the future change makers of our world. Learn from one-another, collaborate with one another, and please stop self-segregating and competing for social standings. There are many areas in life where you can practice that competitive spirit that makes you such a fabulous success! Perhaps- just relax a bit on the social atmosphere? Okay? If you continue to compete and segregate, you will miss out on this unique concentration of brilliance that Duke brings together to form our community.
Recognize that none of your dreams will actualize without the help of others. We come from every corner of the planet. Each equipped with a unique background and lens. Learn, grow, love, and make lasting connections and epic realizations. The resources are here. The people are here. Now is the time to make that connection, have that conversation, and perhaps create something that has never been done before.
Please remember that your unique contribution matters.
With so love and excitement for the future. Continue to Trust the Process. It’s been real,
Catherine
Catherine White is a Trinity senior. This is her final column for The Chronicle.
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