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Dear DUKE COMMUNITY,

(12/12/05 5:00am)

Oooooooohhhhhh SNAP! Haha you totally thought we were dudes!! Well, Emily likes sports. And Juliet has penis envy. So that's close enough. Anyways, it has been quite a semester, and we're actually unsure how we made it. We'd borrowed Hermione's Time-Turner, but Jesse Longoria stole it, and now we're subsisting on coffee and Kelly Clarkson to keep us going. That said, on to the orders of business: