The state of manhood within American society is progressively becoming a crisis. Although fascinating reports and opinions regarding the U.S. 2016 election are rolling in like a flash flood and consuming our attention, there are other developments that likewise deserve our notice.
Nearly three weeks ago the U.S. Federal Reserve released a statement indicating that “the economy has returned to near-full employment,” with an unemployment rate at around 4.9 percent. On the surface, this appears to be great news for our country and its citizens; yet it is only half the story. In order to grasp what is truly taking place within the American workforce, it is imperative to understand what the term “unemployment” really means. “Unemployment,” according to Investopedia, is “the percentage of the total labor force that is unemployed but actively seeking employment and willing to work.” As a statistic, this is measured out of the total American workforce, which is the sum of those who are employed and unemployed. Notably, it neglects to consider those who are able to work but are not actively seeking a job.
Outside the scope of the “4.9 percent,” Nicholas Eberstadt, writing for the Wall Street Journal, calculates a “male jobs deficit” of about “10 million, even after taking into account an older population and more adults in college.” This includes 7 million males who are aged 25-54, which comprises “the traditional prime of working life.” According to Eberstadt, as many as 9 out of 10 of these males are not pursuing forms of education to improve their circumstances, but are engaging in full time leisure.
This couples with another shocking statistic from the Pew Research Center, which indicates that young males aged 18-34 are “are now more likely to live with a parent than to live with a spouse or partner.” Although it does not comprise the majority of living arrangements, “living with a parent” is the most common living arrangement for males in this age category at a staggering 35 percent.
Also trending sky-high in the past decade is the ubiquity of pornography and its endemic use by adolescent males. A report by the Barna Research Group finds that 67 percent of male teens and young adults regularly use porn, which is a far greater proportion than that of any other demographic. Viewing pornography is also becoming increasingly morally acceptable amongst this demographic, despite the overwhelming evidence that it is harmful to romantic relationships and marriages, severely detrimental to the male psyche and rampantly degrading of women.
An increasing proportion of males is not thriving in America—this much is clear. The modern political left has become so fervent to extinguish complementarianism—the idea that men and women are equal in significance and value and yet also unique—that it has forsaken vital standards for what men should distinctly be like. As King Solomon once wrote, "Where there is no vision, the people perish." For lack of a true vision of whom they should become, millions of guys within our generation are deluded by “fake war” and “fake love.”
“Fake” war can be easily identified as living vicariously through digital media such as video games, but it can extend to fighting any battle that doesn’t have lasting worth. “Fake” war involves passivity in the areas of our lives that truly matter and which have eternal ramifications. The premise of “real” war, meanwhile, is a rejection of passivity, a recognition of what is at stake and an assumption of responsibility for what happens. A “real” war involves a fight—laboring and striving towards a goal against internal and external foes. Fighting a real war requires courage, which G. K. Chesterton defines as “almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die.”
“Fake” love is free and boundless; along these lines a man can simultaneously love everyone and no one. Consumption of pornography certainly falls into this category, though many of our relationships do as well. Real love, on the other hand, involves a covenantal relationship and a readiness to sacrifice; it has a cost. As Jesus commanded His disciples, “Love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” This is directly mirrored in the way that we as men are to approach romantic relationships. As Paul writes of Jesus, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ [Jesus] loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Truly loving someone, via Paul, means counting that person as not merely equal, but as “more significant” than yourself.
Real war and real love are tied together into what may be called “servant leadership.” This seems to be paradox of terms, and rightly so. “Leadership” brings to mind the idea of taking charge and directing everyone else around you, while “servant” implies being under someone’s charge else and performing duties for that person. To embody both these terms at once is to be a humble and selfless doer, an influencer and empowerer who lives foremost for what is ultimate and thus also for what is eternal. This is the call for every man. Anything less isn't worth your time or your soul.
As you, like every other human being, continue to change, mature and develop, ask yourself: “Who am I becoming?” Exemplifying true manhood doesn't come easily, and it certainly doesn’t happen by simply "being ourselves." It requires an objective standard and a person to whom we conform our character. This is where the internal "war" begins. So don’t just be yourself. Be like the ultimate man. Be like Jesus.
Addison Merryman is a Trinity senior. His column, "deep magic," runs on alternate Wednesdays.
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