2 AM talks

2:00 AM, August 21, 2012

Somewhere on East Campus

“You know where chops sticks come from right? Confucius said that knives are instruments of violence, so he advocated for chopsticks as a replacement,” I said. When was the last time I stayed up this late?

“Hmm... reminds me of the double power principle. A knife can be used to hurt or to help, but it’s not evil in and of itself. Its use depends on the person using it,” my new friend responded.

At least, that’s how I think it started. Knives and chopsticks and ethics were the subject of the first meaningful conversation I had at Duke. I remember being excited during O-week and for the first few weeks afterwards. It seemed like enriching and completely random discussions would define my Duke experience. Then classes got rougher, the magic of the first semester started to wear off and the gaps between pseudo-intellectual ramblings got wider and wider. A friend confided in me that he didn’t feel like he was learning outside the classroom, and regretted not getting accepted at more prestigious places where such learning would supposedly take place. Another remarked that she was having a great time going out and all, but she missed talking.

It is difficult to define a meaningful discussion. They are usually associated with the word “deep”, a word which becomes shallow with overuse. They typically touch on academic subjects but weave them in with daily life. They sometimes involve telling stories, sharing feelings, laughing, analyzing, philosophizing, acting stupid and trying to be smart. Mostly, they leave participants with a feeling that emotional, spiritual or academic learning took place and that intellectual curiosity reared its head. They end with the speakers’ eyes shining bright and their thoughts reeling. They re-affirm why a person is seeking an education, or they alter one’s reasons for doing so. In vague summation, meaningful discussions help individuals grow and answer the endless question “why?”

Years have passed since I was the cliché, wide-eyed freshman, and I fear that I have seen a trend although I hope that I am mistaken. Meaningful conversations do happen at Duke, but they don’t permeate the culture like they should. We exhaust ourselves in class so we don’t want to think as much outside of class. We work hard and play hard as promised, but when play seems a little too much like work, we get suspicious. Maybe we are afraid of discussing topics we are not sure of or that seem foolish, or maybe we just don’t have anything to talk about. Perhaps such conversations involve opening up too much.

The solution to changing our school’s culture is for each of us to make an effort to talk to each other about something. When this grass roots change occurs one conversation at a time, then social norms can shift and learning outside the classroom can take place. Book clubs, conversation clubs and commitments of groups of friends to make time for reflection can help with this. At the very least, when we interact with new Duke students, we can warn them not stay silent and remind them that college is about more than grades or careers or evenings gaining knowledge for knowledge’s sake. It is also about long, random conversations at 2:00 AM which aid in the quest for meaning and, in and of themselves, provide meaning.